someday, sarah.

last.

2011-12-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

this is my last post of 2011 and my last post on this blog. next week, i'm going to start using this new one called somedaysarah.typepad.com. it's new and fresh and i'm really excited about it. just like 2012.

new years are great like that, aren't they? they're new. they're fresh. they're hopeful. they're almost magical. people make plans. they write down their resolutions and the things they want to change. they talk about how different things are going to be. in the new year.

i'm guilty of this too. i made my 2012 list a few days ago and, after i finished writing everything down, i looked it over and thought to myself, yeah. 2012 is going to be a good year. then i paused. because isn't that what i do and think every year? and it never quite works out as well as i think it will. why is that?

i was thinking about it the other day and you know what i realized is another word for january first, the new year?

sunday. it's just a sunday. we had one last week, and we're going to have one next week too. sure, this sunday is going to make everyone feel like they have a fresh start. a second chance. a new beginning. but the magic stops there. after that, it's up to us to decide what to do with it.

new years don't change things for you. you have to do that part on your own.

i'm going to try to keep that in mind as i start the new year.

back.

2011-12-05T22:55:00.001-05:00

oh hi.

i've been gone for a little while. i don't really care to explain why i haven't blogged, so i'm not going to. but i will say that i am taking a break from the everyday blogging thing to sort some things out and create a new blog (that's not a blogger or a tumblr), which i will start using in january.

it's all very exciting, i know.

in the mean time, let me fill you in on some things:

i'm using this blog, my old blog, to post to while i'm in the process of creating the new one because i still want to post an occasional blog before january, but i don't see the point in keeping two bloggers when i don't plan to use either one of them in the near future. so i imported my posts and here i am.
to pick up where i left off, which seems like AGES ago, i did not run the thanksgiving day road race as i had planned to. i ended up getting sick and, while i was feeling better by thursday, getting up early to run five miles didn't seem like the best thing to do while still trying to recover.
the Christmas season officially began (in my book) the day after thanksgiving and i've been listening to Christmas music and watching cheesy hallmark movies like nobody's business.
i went to the 96.5 Christmas concert last thursday and had an absolute blast, even though it was more like a series of mini concerts and less like one big Christmas concert. (this may or may not get its own post, depending on how motivated i am to put one together.)
this past weekend, on saturday, we put up the Christmas tree and decorated it. such good times that night.
on sunday, my dad had this scary memory loss thing going on, so we spent most of the day in the emergency room. they kept him overnight and ran a ton of tests. he was released on monday night and they said it was transient global amnesia, which is what they thought it was, but they had to rule out everything else.
THANK YOU, JESUS.

that's pretty much all that's been going on. it's kept me quite busy, as you can imagine, so i haven't had much time to consider Christmas shopping, which is making me a little bit anxious because Christmas is LESS THAN THREE WEEKS AWAY.

why do i never start my shopping early?

–– s

yeah.

2011-11-22T15:18:00.000-05:00

it has been brought to my attention that i am in fact running a 5 mile race, and not a 5 kilometer. i didn't really think it was a 5k, especially after i googled and found out that 5k is equal to 3 miles (that would be way too good to be true), but i didn't actually know how far it was and i was too lazy to look it up. and i feel like people are always calling it a 5k, so that's what i went with.

either way, i know i'm going to be one of those runners who has that "kill me now" looks on her face that the people sitting on the sidelines look at and think, "oh, poor girl. that's why i watch and don't run." now i'm just going to be that person for another two miles. and, really, what's another two when you're already running three, right?

you know, i used to be that person sitting on the sideline, watching the runners and compiling a mental list of all the reasons why i just watch and don't run. i even wrote a post last year about how to watch the thanksgiving day road race. i had pretty much mastered the art of watching. who knew i'd actually try running?

maybe this year's post will be called "how to run the thanksgiving day road race without looking like you're going to fall over and die in the middle of mile 3."

but, you know what? i'm just really hoping that i can look back on this experience and think, "remember my last thanksgiving in connecticut when i ran the road race?" because that would mean that i survived it and lived to tell the tale. and it would also mean that i have finally moved.

i'm also hoping that this little 5 mile run will jumpstart my motivation to have a somewhat regular workout schedule.

we'll see what happens.

–– s

weekend top 5.

2011-11-21T08:52:00.000-05:00

friday.

i got out of work at 3:30 p.m. because i had worked late the night before at the open house.
i had every intention of going straight home and taking a nap.
i didn't go straight home (i stopped to get gas on the way) and i didn't take a nap (i cleaned my room and paid bills online).
WHY AM I SUCH AN ADULT?
i met leah at starbucks at 6:30ish (which means we had planned to meet at 6, but we're both always late) and stayed there and talked until they were closing and our clothes were completely saturated in starbucks smell. because that's how we do.

saturday.

my mom's birthday!
i woke up at 8 a.m. to hang out with her, slash make sure she didn't hide out in her office and work all morning.
i ended up hiding out in her office and working for a couple of hours. (she had a client with a deadline and i didn't want her to do it.)
we spent the rest of the afternoon watching the end of the cutting edge and the beginning of fever pitch. i forgot how much i actually like the cutting edge and how much fever pitch sort of makes me want to be a red sox fan. sort of. not really.
heather, t, josh, and i all helped make dinner for my mom. t and i did the bulk of it and we made 13 pieces of lemon chicken on the stovetop, which felt like a marathon. but it all worked out nicely and it was DELICIOUS.

sunday.

t's birthday!
i went to church at crossroads and saw three short presentations about this year's missions trips to guatemala. this pretty much just added fuel to my i-want-to-go-on-a-missions-trip fire.
the afternoon was filled with speed scrabble, scattergories, wii baseball and boxing, and lots of good times.
birthday dinner was lasagna, which was SO yummy, and dessert was death by chocolate with reese's peanut butter cups, which is my FAVORITE. i'm so glad we're practically the same person.
t got an iphone 4s and she was totally and completely surprised. i wish i had thought to record her reaction because it was the best part of the whole day.

(oh, i also watched some of the ama's last night, but i don't really feel like that's worth mentioning.)

i basically feel like i need a weekend to recover from my weekend. i would say that i'm excited that this weekend is a four-day weekend, but i'm starting it out by running a 5k that i'm not at all prepared for, so i will probably spend the rest of the long weekend recovering from that experience.

however, i AM excited for this weekend because you know what happens once thanksgiving is over? CHRISTMAS TIME OFFICIALLY BEGINS. and you know what that means? CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

okay. enough with the yelling. i need to go do laundry and maybe even hop on the treadmill for a minute or two.

–– s

TGIF.

2011-11-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

i don't know why i always forget about blogging on fridays. maybe because it's because it's friday and i feel like the week is over, so i'm mentally checked out and ready for the weekend and i don't post on the weekends, so why would i think about it?

i don't know. i'm really tired. like, i'm not sure how i'm functioning right now. or writing in actual sentences. also, did you notice that i started both of these two paragraphs with the exact same three words? because i did and it's kind of bothering me. but i'm too tired to go back and reword it.

anyway, let's talk about something with actual substance. like how my mom had the open house for her business, which i happen to work for, last night and it went really well. i'm not particularly a fan of those type of social gatherings because they really just bring to light how awkward i can be, especially when i'm running on very little sleep and it takes a lot of energy to focus. but we had delicious food from moe's in glastonbury and andrèe's waffalloons and royal ice cream, so every once in a while i would take a break from being social and eat.

it was a very long day though because i worked all day and then the open house was after work and i was already tired to begin with, so finally getting to crawl into bed was GLORIOUS. until 4 a.m., when i was rudely awakened by bailey throwing up in the corner of my bedroom. so disgusting. and irritating. because it was FOUR A.M. by the time that was dealt with and cleaned up and i finally fell back asleep, i had about a half an hour before my alarm went off for work.

needless to say, getting ready for work was practically a disaster. i could not get myself motivated to move any faster. and i kept forgetting what i was doing, so it took me extra long to do simple tasks like making my lunch and getting dressed. (thank goodness we can wear jeans on fridays.) although, i did end up with a black bra and white tank top and shirt combination that just screams GO BACK TO BED. and, literally, i must've went over the checklist of what to include in my lunch at least five times, but i still forgot to put pringles in my lunch bag. so now i have to eat pretzels when what i'm really in the mood for is pringles.

and that, my friends, is what you would call first world problems.

thank you and goodnight.

–– s

babysitting.

2011-11-16T21:58:00.000-05:00

this week has been incredibly long and tiring, but also kind of wonderful at the same time. i'm defnintely ready for the weekend though. especially since this weekend includes a lot of cake eating, which i am very excited about.

in other news, i babysat two of my favorite little girls last night. julie (9) and ruxing (7). they are so adorable, i just want to squeeze them. we had a great time eating macaroni and cheese and watching the disney channel until it was time for them to go to bed.

here are some of my favorite moments from last night:

helping xin fold her laundry and realizing that the width of her pant legs are about the same as the sleeves on my shirt.
me asking julie when xin's birthday is, and her replying with "well last year it was on the 26th, so i think it's on the 27th this year."
julie telling me that the pj's i was wearing were "public" pj's.
julie creating this super cute banner for her grandma, who's coming to visit today. it says "welcome grandma." so sweet!

running into a couple spiders while attempting to hang that banner and julie telling me i'm "SO girly" after seeing my reaction. (for the record, i may be girly but killed the spiders.)
helping xin do her homework, which was to read these two small books that basically consisted of the same sentence on every page with a few words changed on each one. she gets discouraged really easily, but her face lit up every time she finally figured out a word she'd been stuck on. it was so cute.
seeing cory matthews (and his non-topanga girlfriend) on one of the shows we watched.
seeing hollywood ending in one of the commercials they had about the music contest they're having. remember hollywood ending? they played at the space a few weeks ago and i wrote about it.
asking "who's ready for bed?!" with my hand raised at like, 6:30 p.m. just to see their reactions. (and also because i really was.) julie stared at me with raised eyebrows and that look kids give you when you talk about wanting to take a nap or going to bed early because they don't understand yet. xin frowned at me because she misunderstood and thought i meant it was time for her to go to bed.

basically, i had a really fun night. they're so cute and funny. i was tempted to let them stay up later just because i wanted to hang out with them longer. but i know their teachers (and val) wouldn't have appreciated that, so i got them in bed on time. plus, i'll get to see them a lot this weekend, so it works out.

–– s

recent.

2011-11-16T08:26:00.000-05:00

this week has been a bit insane. i'm incredibly tired and on my way to getting sick because of it, which, of course, is always a blast. there are some people who run on just a few hours of sleep every night and, although they may be tired, they're still quite functional. that's not me. if i go more than one or two nights with anything less than seven hours of sleep, i get sick. really, it's a good time. and by that i mean it's entirely inconvenient. especially when i have a week like this one i'm having where i wake up at 6:30 a.m., go to work, and go somewhere else straight after work.

it's also making me a bit nervous because i registered to run the thanksgiving day road race this year, completely impulsively, because i figured it would bring me some sort of motivation to know that i paid $20 to run a 5k. but i don't have any time (not to mention energy) to even get on the treadmill. and have i mentioned that the only time i've ran in the past three-ish months was for 10 minutes two weeks ago?

i'm going to die on thanksgiving. or i will end up spending more time walking than running, which is such a great way to spend $20 that i didn't really have.

in other news, i have this neat little feature set up on my itunes where an automatic playlist gets created/edited that includes all of the songs i've added to my library in the last week. i love this feature because it tells me what's new that i purchased and what's new that i've downloaded from noisetrade or other various (legal) free-download websites.

this week, i have three songs in my "recent" playlist.

sugar & the hi lows –– see it for yourself (single)

sugar & the hi lows is a new collaboration between two of my favorite 10 out of tenn members, trent dabbs and amy stroup. "see it for yourself" is the first and only single they have put out so far and it just came out yesterday! i've only listened to it a few times through, but i love it. i'm excited to hear their full-length album, which is due out on february 14.

/ itunes

christina perri –– a thousand years (single)

i love her. her first single "jar of hearts" was on the radio for a while and i've heard her second single, "arms," played a few times as well, but neither of them were included in the regular rotation. i (impulsively) bought her album a while ago and it's pretty good. not amazing, but i enjoy listening to it. her new single "a thousand years" is bringing her a lot of attention though because it's included on the breaking dawn - part 1 soundtrack. i saw that it was released a few weeks ago, but i didn't really listen to it until yesterday, when i listened and then listened again and again and again. and then i bought it.

/ itunes

Jesus culture –– come away (single)

i don't know if this is technically a single or not, but by "come away," i mean the song, not the album. we've sung it in church a few times, but we sang it in church this past sunday and i went right home and bought it so i could keep listening to it. it's such a great song and a nice reminder.

/ itunes

the other thing i wanted to mention that's also been recently added to my itunes is the new fray video for "heartbeat." it's FREE on itunes this week, so go download it. i actually haven't had a chance to watch the entire thing yet, but it's definitely at the top of my list for today!

–– s

delete.

2011-11-14T22:55:00.000-05:00

sometimes i have days when i don't feel like posting anything online. it's like i'm not sure what i want to say or how i want to say it or if i should say anything at all. everything i've ever said seems like too much, even these words seem like too much, and i want to erase it all and start over.

sometimes my whole life feels like that. like i'm just going and going and all of a sudden i stop and think, wait, what? and i just need a minute. to breathe. to sort it all out. to remember what the point is.

today is one of those days. just give me a minute.

–– s

weekend top 5.

2011-11-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

friday.

11/11/11 - i did absolutely nothing special to celebrate the occasion.
my friends from clg, on the other hand, got engaged. at 11:11 p.m.
i worked.
i went to youth group at crossroads and saw a bunch of my favorite people.
i can't remember what else.

saturday.

i woke up close to noon. entirely by accident.
i took my sweet time getting ready and then i went shopping for birthday presents in the afternoon.
i came home and did laundry. (such an eventful saturday night.)
i caught up on some tv shows. like the big bang theory. which is one of my favorites because they're on season five and it's still hilarious.
i watched something borrowed. i LOVED the book, so i was a little nervous about watching the movie, but it was actually pretty good. john krasinski was so great. i hope they make a something blue movie.

sunday.

i went to church. (more on that later.)
i basically hung out at my house all day.
i watched something borrowed again with my mom because she wanted to see it and, since i had rented it on itunes, we only had until 8:45 p.m. to watch it without having to pay for it.
i stayed up way too late.
i got the worst night's sleep of my life.

–– s

read.

2011-11-11T08:54:00.000-05:00

i almost completely forgot about posting today. i'm very tired and cranky and i'm not quite sure how i'm going to make it through an entire work day, so i'm quite grateful that i have been keeping this list (another list!), otherwise i'd have nothing to post.

so, after catching up on my blogs from last week, and continuing to read them this week, i have compiled a list of a few of my favorites.

i love this post from big mama from last week & this one from this week about her trip to ecuador with compassion.
i also love this post from boo mama, who is also on the ecuador trip.
jon acuff made a good point in this post about traveling and what it means to be present.
he also wrote this great post about being open and honest as a blogger and not just blogging about good times, but also the times that you've made mistakes.
of course, stuff Christians like (also written by jon acuff) had a great "serious wednesday" post this week that talks about our identity in God.

–– s

paper route, lady a, & cary brothers. (& my cma top 10!)

2011-11-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

after missing last week, i had twice as much to catch up on this past tuesday. good thing i got two itunes gift cards for my birthday! i also bought a few other things i had on my 'wish list' that i want to mention. AND the cma's were on last night! lots of music to talk about this week, so let's get right to the good stuff.

new music tuesday recap from last week:

paper route –– better life (single)

i have a few paper route songs that i picked up here and there and, while i enjoy their music, i'm not an avid fan who needs to own their music as soon as it comes out. which can be seen by the fact that their album is still sitting in my 'wish list.' it's just not at the top of my list. but this song? this song is so good. leah played it for me last week and i knew i had to buy it. she says it's not quite the same since andy left the band, but still. so good.

/ itunes

new music tuesday recap from this week:

cary brothers –– free like you make me (single)

i've seen his name mentioned here and there and i have some of his stuff from noisetrade, but i haven't really listened to him much until recently. he's been releasing singles and i've been buying them. "take your time" was his last single, which i love, so i figured this one would be just as great. and it is. i love this man's voice. a lot. (i actually bought his album under control too. i just can't get enough of it.)

/ itunes

other mentionable music:

lady antebellum –– we own the night (single)

so far, i've only bought the single because i am absolutely in love with this song, but i'm pretty sure i'll crack and end up buying the rest of the album too. i haven't listened to them much, other than what i've heard on the radio, but i'm pretty sure they're my new current favorite. especially after watching them on the cma's.

/ itunes

caleb slade –– victory in defeat

yes, he is the brother of isaac slade (of the fray) and his voice is just as wonderful. he put out a six-song album (ep?) a while ago, but it's been sitting in my 'wish list' because i've just been listening to the songs on random places on the internet. i finally decided to buy it and it was definitely worth it.

favorite track: "always on my mind" or "hand to reach for" / itunes

augustana –– augustana

i heard so much about this album (and how amazing it is) when it came out, but i just kept putting it on the back burner because there was always some other album i wanted more. someone should've sat me down and told me what a mistake that was because, oh my word, this album is amazing. i can't believe i waited so long to buy it! (i also can't believe they're no longer making music!)

favorite track: yeah. i literally can't pick one. / itunes

i also bought a few other miscellaneous songs and albums that are random and not new. or noteworthy. at least for today. i already have enough to talk about today. like the cma's last night. did you watch? i love music awards, but i never get to watch them for one reason or another. i put together a neat little list (surprise, surprise) of my top 10 thoughts on the cma's. because i like lists. (obviously.) especially top 10 lists. so here we go:

the cma's will forever remind me of that episode of the buried life where duncan sneaks in and asks t swift out. this has nothing to do with what happened last night, but i have to mention it because i thought about it multiple times.
the kim kardashian marriage song? hilarious. "baby, i'm gonna love you forever, or for 72 days amen." (brad & carrie's whole opening bit was pretty funny, actually.)
carrie underwood is BEAUTIFUL. and so is faith hill. oh my word!
vocal duo of the year: how did the civil wars not win this one?! (in other news, they're considered 'country'?) (oh, and ginnifer goodwin & josh dallas, "snow white" & "prince charming" from once upon a time, presented this award. i just love them. and their show.)
favorite performances: "are you gonna kiss me or not" by thompson square (they are too cute), "ours" by t swift (i loved her little living room set up), and "remind me" by brad paisley & carrie underwood (great song, great performance).
sugarland & matt nathanson's performance reminded me just how much i am in love with that man's voice. seriously.
WHY DID THE BAND PERRY WIN EVERY AWARD? (i'm just currently annoyed with them because their song is still overplayed on the radio and, while i think they're pretty good and used to like the song before it was vastly overplayed, they're not worthy of all the awards.) (but that's just my opinion.)
best male vocalist: blake shelton. in my opinion (i have lots of these today), he's pretty good, but way overrated. my mom loves him though and, when he won, she whispered, "YESSS." i didn't even realize she was still awake at this point.
lauren alaina should've won american idol.
entertainer of the year: TAYLOR SWIFT. knew it. love her. asdfghjk. she seriously deserves it. and i love how she thanked every artist who sang with her on tour.

okay. i think that about wraps it up.

–– s

leagues & mat kearney. 11-01-2011

2011-11-09T09:08:00.000-05:00

last tuesday, in the middle of the power-outage mess, leah and i headed up to massachusetts to see leagues & mat kearney play. best decision i ever made. this show was so much fun and so needed. since i seem to be incapable of forming actual paragraphs this week, here's a list of highlights from the show:

seeing leagues play was so exciting because i remember when they first formed the band and everyone i follow on twitter kept tweeting about them and i finally downloaded their ep from noisetrade and eventually listened to it and LOVED it.
they're so great live, by the way. you can tell they just have so much fun on stage. and they played a bunch of new songs that makes me rather impatient for their full-length album to come out!
they also have this really attractive bass player who makes really great facial expressions when he sings. oh, and he can also whistle really well. he played for mat too, so he was on stage all night. which was probably my favorite part.
mat's performance was pretty much amazing. he basically had mini conversations with us in between songs and a couple of times, he changed the lyrics to go along with what we had just talked about.
at one point, he sang and walked through the crowd, giving random hugs and high fives and handshakes. so great! leah said he did that at the last show she went to, which i think is so great.
there was one point where he forgot the lyrics to one of his songs and another point when he had us singing this "ooo" part, but we didn't know we were supposed to stop, so we kept going and when he started singing again, he said, "it's my turn now!"
leagues came out towards the end and sang "pumped up kicks" with mat, which was SO great.
after the show was over, we waited to say hi to leagues and buy some merch. i wanted a t-shirt (because i'm a band-shirt addict) and leah wanted a poster. while we were waiting, i heard some girl ask one of mat's people if he would be coming out. his response? "probably not. i mean, unless you wait by his bus."
we chatted with mike from leagues for a few minutes while we got our stuff and he gave leah their very last poster, right out of the display frame, because she's a "legit fan" and sang along during their set, which mike was super impressed with.
we waited our turn to get autographs and a picture, but that meant we ended up being the last to leave the show. (entirely not on purpose, i promise.) by the time it was our turn, the drummer had gone back to the stage to start packing stuff up, so i had to go find him to get his autograph on my free cd that i got with my shirt. i was reassured that i was allowed to do this, so i went for it.
on my way back to the stage, i ran into mat. i gasped (in typical sarah fashion), my jaw dropped, and i said, "HI! can i get a picture with you really quick?" so i got a picture. with MAT KEARNEY. i still can't believe it.
here's the proof:

–– s

birthday.

2011-11-08T08:09:00.000-05:00

for my 17th birthday, my best friend from high school put up a huge "happy birthday" banner at the entrance of school and completely decorated my locker.

for my 18th birthday, i went to an art museum and wore a tiara the entire day.

for my 19th birthday, ...i apparently did nothing significant enough to remember or write about.

for my 20th birthday, i had the swine flu (or so my mom claims - i was never technically tested for it) and spent most of the day by myself in my room.

for my 21st birthday, i had a series of birthday celebrations that lasted an entire week, which included birthday dinner, legal drinks at margarita's, and a surprise birthday party.

here's what happened on my 22nd birthday:

it snowed the night before, which made for a delightful morning of cleaning off my car.
i went to work. (not the best decision i ever made.)
tim and nick both remembered it was my birthday and nick brought me a chocolate milkshake. (so sweet!)
my mom & dad had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL flowers delivered to me at work.
i spent the majority of my work day in a state of productivity that mostly included reading and replying to birthday messages from people on facebook and twitter.
i had my birthday dinner that night and, as usual, it was delicious and full of laughter and an all-around fun night.
it snowed again on saturday and the power went out and continued to be out throughout the following week. end of celebration.

i think it's safe to say that my 22nd birthday will be marked by the crazy snowstorm that caused us to be without power for six whole days because i'm already forgetting what happened on my birthday and it was just a week ago!

–– s

whoa.

2011-11-07T07:42:00.000-05:00

why don't i just recap the past week using neat bullet points instead of messy paragraphs? i'll keep it short and sweet.

last friday (october 28) was my birthday. remember that? it feels like months ago now. i turned twenty-two and it was exciting, minus the part where i got a little bit older. also minus the part where it snowed, but i'm getting to that.
on saturday, it snowed. and we lost power. for a week.
sunday, monday, and tuesday were pretty much one big blur of trying to figure out what to do next. where to go that has heat, where to go that has food, where to go that has a shower, how to do all of these things without spending too much money or gas. it was stressful and draining and, let's just say, there were many frustrated tears shed throughout the week.
on tuesday night, i managed to get away and see leagues & mat kearney play in massachusetts with leah. (there will be a separate post on that, but it was basically the highlight of my week and it significantly helped with my sanity.)
on wednesday, my mom and i drove up to massachusetts to stay in my cousins' apartment that's attached to their church until we got power back. it was a huge blessing that included heat and hot water and free meals and a washer and dryer.
we got power back on friday evening and my mom and i drove home on saturday morning.
sunday morning, i got an extra hour of sleep in my own bed and it was absolutely wonderful. and so was going to church and merge too.

so far, i have not taken electricity for granted since it's been back. every time i turn on a light switch, i am grateful that the room gets brighter. every time i think i'm getting chilly, i remember that it could be worse. every time my computer or cell phone dies, i get excited because i can recharge them without a problem. i know it'll probably fade, but for now, i am just so very grateful.

–– s

snow.

2011-10-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

this one year, daylight savings fell on my birthday and getting an extra house of sleep was probably the best birthday present i've ever received. (with the exception of the plane ticket to nashville.)

last year, it was unseasonably warm on my birthday and i wore flip flops. FLIP FLOPS. another great present.

this year, ...it snowed.

okay. WHERE IS THE LOVE, MOTHER NATURE?

technically, it snowed last night and the sun is quickly melting it up as i type, but that's not the point. the point is that it was cold enough for the precipitation that fell from the sky to turn into snow. SNOW. in OCTOBER.

side note: they predicted snow for last night, but there was still a brief moment as i was getting out of my car to go into the mall where i thought, i kid you not, wow, these raindrops are THICK. #iamnaturallyblonde

i'll be honest, as much as i am not a fan of snow ever, there is something magical about looking up at the night sky when snow is falling. but that magic slowly fades when this occurs in OCTOBER on THE NIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY.

or when people pretend like the few snow flurries that fall at the end of october is a massive blizzard from the middle of march and drive 50 mph on the highway. #mildroadrage

or when the trees are covered in snow AND leaves.

in other news, today is my birthday and i'm working. who's idea was this? i hate growing up.

–– s

lots of yelling and hashtagging in the post. not sure why.

excitement.

2011-10-27T15:38:00.000-04:00

i'm slacking. i'm writing this on my lunch break because i didn't write it last night and didn't have time to do it before work this morning. but let's be honest, i barely have time to get ready in the morning before work. mainly because i can't get myself out of bed early enough. although, you should be proud of me because this morning i woke up an entire THIRTY minutes earlier than usual. that's not to say i wasn't still rushing around and running late, but it's progress, okay? progress.

i think part of my excitement to get out of bed today (despite the rain) was the fact that i had new clothes to wear. the other day (and by that i mean yesterday), i went to target after work and bought a few things (or more than a few things) because my fall wardrobe is lacking. last year at this time, and every year before that as well, i was in school. and that meant i wore nothing other than jeans and sweatshirts everyday. literally. so i'm not kidding when i say that i have a limited number fall-appropriate work clothes.

also part of my excitement to get out of bed today (despite the rain) was the fact that tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY. which means that tomorrow is not only the best day of the week, but it's also the best day of the year. and who wouldn't be excited to get out of bed the day before a day of such awesomeness?

in other news, my lunch break is over. but, you're right, this post wasn't going anywhere anyway, so i might as well just end it now. but you should know that i may or may not blog tomorrow. i haven't decided yet. i might be too busy doing birthday things to write.

–– s

coldplay & kelly clarkson.

2011-10-26T09:56:00.000-04:00

new music tuesday.

this week i seriously wondered about my music purchasing habits and if it might be a little much. mainly because i had a few impulse buys that were instant regrets. i also decided that new music tuesday doesn't need to be every week because one) there's not always good music coming out every week. and two) there's a lot of old music that i still love and listen to on a regular basis that i wouldn't mind blogging about. and another thing, i will probably only ever blog about music i like and find worth talking about. it's not "sarah's comments on all music," it's more like an on-going list of sarah's favorite music.

also, i haven't been on noisetrade in a while, so i'll probably post again about what i goodies i find on there.

coldplay –– mylo xyloto

i'm not actually a huge coldplay fan. i mean, i know their music, i like their music, but i haven't put a lot of time or money into them in the past. so when i was deciding whether or not to buy mylo xyloto, i put some thought into it because i had options. i could pay for it, or i could probably just get it from one of my friends who already has it. while trying to decide, i listened to the previews for each song and ultimately decided i needed to buy it.

favorite track: umm all of them? / itunes

kelly clarkson –– stronger

i feel like people always have some sort of comment to make about kelly, like everything she does is so controversial. i think she just does what she wants and doesn't pay much attention to what critics say. this new album may not be her best, but i still love it. i still love her. that's all.

favorite track: "mr. know it all" or "standing in front of you" or "the sun will rise" / itunes

–– s

the fray. 10-18-2011

2011-10-25T17:50:00.000-04:00

well now that it's been an entire week, i think i'm ready to talk about the fray. i mean, the show was incredible, but the whole night was such an adventure that i really just needed a few days (or a week) to organize my thoughts and form coherent sentences about it. and post them in a blog that was not too outrageously lengthy. but we might have different definitions for what that means because this post is pretty long. (i promise i really did try to summarize!) are you ready?

t and i rushed home from work to catch the train from new haven to grand central. now, here's the thing you need to know about that: neither one of us have ever gone to new york city without someone else with us who knew what they were doing. combine that with the fact that t is exactly like my mom in that she worries (about everything), and you've got an interesting train ride. full of questions. how do we know which train it is? how will we know when it's our stop? is grand central the last stop? should we ask someone?" "how will we get a cab once we get there? granted, this didn't go on for the entire train ride, but she spent a significant amount of time looking out the window at each stop to make sure she knew where we were in respect to where we were going.

the train ride was quite entertaining because it was during the evening commute and there was a group of younger people standing near us having an interesting conversation involving personal preference when it comes to showering with a window or door open in the bathroom. at one point during their conversation, t looks at me and goes, "i can't really hear what they're saying. all i hear are the supporting details, not the main idea." ...she is such a teacher. there was also this guy and girl standing near us who weren't a couple, but you could tell by the way they looked at each other that they were both interested in becoming one. it was so much fun to watch and see their faces expressions as they talked and laughed and smiled at each other.

we finally made it to grand central, but before our train came to a complete stop, t leaned over and asked the guy sitting across from us if we were, in fact, at grand central. he chuckled and said yes while i died laughing. her mind must have been going a mile a minute, worrying about whether or not we were at grand central, but she didn't say anything to me. just the random man across from us.

hailing a cab was a whole different level of anxiety for t. she was practically pacing on the sidewalk, trying to figure out what to do. how do you get one? how do you know if there are people in them? where are we walking? is this the right way? how do you know we're going the right way? should we ask someone? this time, the questions were pretty much nonstop because i wasn't really giving any answers. (although i was able to tell her that the group of people waiting on the sidewalk was not a line for taxis. it was a bus stop.) i was just walking and making it up as i went along. it was kind of a "try it and see if it works" method. all i knew was what i'd seen in movies. and i knew from my mom telling me (and by reading various news stories) that you don't ask strangers in new york for directions.

eventually, t's worrying got to me, so we just hopped in the nearest taxi, which happened to be a black taxi towncar thing (i'm clearly not from the city), and paid way too much for the man to bring us to the wrong place because he was on his phone the whole time. lesson learned: wait for a legit taxi even if t won't stop asking questions long enough to hear an answer or even to take a breath. because, let me tell you, it got worse when we were roaming around on the sidewalk of a random sidestreet in God-knows-where, new york.

okay, honestly, we were only a few blocks away, but we didn't know that for sure because we didn't have a map and the google maps on my phone is broken, apparently. t continued to ask me what to do and where to go and if we should ask someone for directions like i had all the answers. i simply reverted to my earlier "let's try this" plan, with the addition of a short but desperate prayer, and maybe some sharp words to t about how we were NOT asking anyone for help, and we eventually ran into these two older men who were looking for the same place we were. (side note: they were not actual fray fans, they were just going because they heard it would be a good show. WHAT.) i'm convinced that we ran into them because Jesus brought them to find us. i mean, why else would two grown men have consciously walked two blocks away from the street they were on when it was the one they needed to be on? and i know this because i heard one of them say, "oh, we need to be on that street? that's where we just were."

so we finally find the place and get in and immediately run into our next obstacle: two tall (one really tall) men, who are wearing sweatshirts tied around their waists and are probably not fray fans either. it took about twenty minutes, but i eventually built up the courage to tap the tall man on the shoulder and ask him to let us stand in front of him. best decision i ever made. (he said yes.) we were SO close and we didn't even realize it because of the wall that had just stood between us and the stage.

the show was amazing, of course. they came out and i gasped and held my breath because they were so close and so beautiful and then i couldn't stop smiling and screaming because i just love them and i was so excited to finally see them after so long. they played lots of new songs and a good mix of old songs too. it was absolutely wonderful. i took a few photos and videos, but i mostly just tried to soak it all in because i knew the feeling i had standing there couldn't be captured. as many pictures as i took and as many words as i'm writing now, none of it does it any justice.

it was over all too soon and t was nervous about the whole taxi thing again, but we got one pretty easily and he brought us right to grand central (probably because that's a destination that's difficult to miss) and from there, we headed back to ct. the train ride home basically consisted of us being hyper and having a photo shoot to pass the time, a random man who "heard what we said," and being too tired and too cold. but all the while still worried about missing our stop at the same time. i was really only worried because i thought i'd fall asleep and not notice when the train stopped. t was worried because she was, well, just worried.

we made it home around 1-ish and i just slept at t's apartment so i wouldn't have to drive home. although, i don't think driving an extra twenty minutes would've been an issue because i'm pretty sure i was on the best post-concert high.

it was a great night. one of the best ever.

–– s

weekend top 5's.

2011-10-24T09:09:00.000-04:00

here's a quick weekend recap for you composed of "top 5" lists. i may or may not continue to use this format for monday/weekend posts.

friday.

i worked at the space for the action item, burnham, days difference, hollywood ending, and voted most random show.
i decided that voted most random is my favorite local band. hands down.
i met chris from hollywood ending. he's from london, so he has a great little accent. at the end of the night, he told me it was so nice to meet me and he asked if i had "twitta" because i should follow him. he told me, "it's hollywood-chris-b. like crispy bacon, but it's chris-b." (side note: why is everyone i meet named chris?)
i also met three of the guys from days difference and we talked about their upcoming tour with owl city and how i used to listen to them on purevolume four years ago (which they apparently think is the coolest thing ever and tried to give me free merch because of it) and how they always get random phone calls from people they don't know which causes them to have to change their numbers multiple times.
i had a pretty awesome night overall because i worked with christina and jen and got to watch how the band boys interacted with their crazy girl fans. it was really entertaining, minus the part where i realized that i have slight fangirl tendencies.

saturday.

i slept until noon-ish.
i went to target to buy a blanket because i cannot have too many. especially since my parents don't turn the heat on unless we have company and my room is FREEZING.
i met leah at starbucks and hung out there for a little over four hours catching up and chatting about random things like faith and politics.
i watched limitless. thoughts: it's a strange movie that kind of stressed me out a little bit, like during the parts where i wanted to yell SOMEONE JUST GET HIM HIS PILLS at the screen, but bradley cooper and his amazing blue eyes made it worth watching.
i stayed up late listening to the fray and writing. which is something i haven't done since high school.

sunday.

i went to church.
i baked pumpkin chocolate chip cookies with my mom and t, while also listening to the lion king soundtrack and watching t do a mini performance to each of her favorite songs.
i ate pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
i uploaded photos and videos which you can see here, here, and here. i also found this video that is worth watching.
i watched men in black. thoughts: it's weird and gross and there were some parts i couldn't help but laugh at, but i'm not sure that i would ever voluntarily watch it again.

–– s

hello somebody.

2011-10-21T08:36:00.000-04:00

a few weeks ago, jon acuff posted about hello somebody and his "team patrick" project. if you've never heard of it, like i hadn't, hello somebody is an organization that "exists to feed and educate children, by providing an avenue of knowledge, in order to break the cycle of poverty and hunger within their generation." and they have these neat watches you can buy to help feed and educate these boys. 70 watches completely sponsors one child, so what jon was trying to do was get 70 people to buy a watch to sponsor patrick. what ended up happening was that so many people bought watches that patrick AND morri were sponsored.

i was one of the 70 who sponsored patrick. it was pretty much an automatic response. i saw the post, i bought a watch. i didn't even spend two seconds contemplating what color i wanted. i mean, pink is obviously my favorite and go-to color, but i do like other colors, believe it or not. after i submitted my order, i realized how impulsive it was, but i don't regret it for a second.

my watch came this past weekend, but i just put it on for the first time last night. i wanted to know what it felt like on my wrist, since it's kind of big and all. and a watch. that ticks rather loudly. i'm not used to that. the last time i wore a watch, i think i was around 7 years old and it was beauty and the beast themed.

here's what it looks like, along with half of my face:

you know, when my watch came, t noticed it sitting in my room and asked me about it. after i explained to her what it was, she had kind of a surprised reaction and told me she was proud of me for doing that. i guess maybe because there's not really a lot of extra cash lying around to buy things like watches to support children in need. but, i was thinking about it after i impulsively bought it, and i pay more than i paid for this watch on concert tickets. on multiple occasions. so maybe i'll have to go to one less show because i bought this watch, but i still think it's worth it.

in fact, when i grow up, i hope i make enough money to be able to do this on a regular basis. i have always hoped that i'd be rich, not because i want to drive a nice car or have a big house or buy a new clothes to fill my wardrobe every season, but because i want to be able to buy watches and toms and birdhouses. i want to be able to donate money to the dear jack foundation and be a part of the mocha club. i want to team up with compassion and sponsor a child from honduras and go on missions trips. i want to be rich so that i have enough to divide up what doesn't really belong to me and give it away.

i'm not there yet. i'm not sure i'll ever get to the place where i can do all of that. but i've gotta start somewhere. so i started with a watch.

(all of the things i mentioned are linked so you can find out more information or donate/buy.)

–– s

p.s. i sat down to write a post about my experience at the fray show on tuesday night and this is what came out instead. so i'm just gonna go with it and wait to post about the fray on monday.

graham colton.

2011-10-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

a day late, but here's my recap of new music tuesday:

graham colton –– pacific coast eyes vol. 2

a few weeks ago, i posted about graham colton's album pacific coast eyes, but this past tuesday he released another album titled pacific coast eyes vol. 2, which features many of the same songs redone, as well as some additional new tunes. as i was listening to it last night, i wondered why his albums aren't on regular rotation on my ipod. i just love his voice. love.

/ itunes

(next week's post will probably be a bit longer since i plan on playing catch-up with all the new music that's been coming out that i haven't paid much attention to.)

–– s

recap.

2011-10-19T17:59:00.000-04:00

last week, i got an email from the fray or the fray fan club or whatever it was with information on how to win tickets to see them play in new york for the artists den, which i had never heard of before. basically, you can apply to get tickets to see bands play and they email you if you got them. i guess it's some kind of show that they air on pbs, with a live audience, but you can't buy tickets. so the fray was filming an episode in new york city and i was given the link to apply for tickets.

without even thinking twice, i clicked the link and applied. new york is close enough. it's doable, so it wasn't completely outrageous that i applied. but i didn't expect to win. well, a few hours later, i received an email telling me i was chosen.

...um. WHAT.

it was completely unexpected, so i hadn't thought through any of the details of what i'd do if i got chosen. it was a tuesday night in new york city. who would go with me? how would i get there? i'd have to take time off from work, but what would my mom/boss say about that? and, again, who would go with me? who's crazy enough to go to new york city mid-week to see the fray?

well, t said she'd go with me, which i loved. she's like my fray friend who goes with me to all the shows. even the ones that are crazy, mid-week shows that i only get tickets to by being an obsessed fan. (like that time she went to boston with me on a wednesday.) and my mom was more than okay with me going and missing work. she just kept saying, "it's the fray! i'd never say no to the fray! it's the fray!"

so last night, t and i made our way to the city and watched the fray put on an amazing performance. once i get my thoughts together and upload my pictures, i'll post more about it. it was definitely a night to remember.

–– s

nothing.

2011-10-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

i don't have anything to say today.

no, like, i really don't. i just sat here for about 17 minutes trying to think of something to write about and i can't think of anything. actually, i guess the truth is that i have a lot of things to say. i have a lot going on in my head today, but none of it is anything i want to share on the internet. all of that stuff must be taking up all the extra space in my head because i can't think of one internet-appropriate thing to talk about. i can't even really talk about my day yesterday because it was boring. it was monday. i went to work. i came home. i basically did nothing all night and then went to bed. this is my life. don't be jealous.

hopefully i will have something more exciting to write about tomorrow. in fact, if my day goes as planned today, i will have something more exciting to write about tomorrow. but, as we can see from what happened over the weekend, not everything goes according to my plans. like, at all.

–– s

(crazy)weekend.

2011-10-17T10:03:00.000-04:00

so this weekend didn't quite go as planned. i mean, AT ALL. on thursday night (which isn't quite the weekend, but i feel the need to include these details so you can see the big picture here), i was supposed to go see dave barnes open for jars of clay at the webster. but the show got cancelled because, according to this tweet, there wasn't enough support to have the show. i guess i'm just wondering who cancelled, the venue or the band? and what qualifies as "enough support" when you only have a week to promote the show? i just, i don't even know. moving on.

on friday night, i went to this place called 'on track karting' with josh and my cousins for my cousin's birthday. basically, you race around this track and crash into walls and other karts and it's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time because you're going way faster than you should, but that's the whole point so you just keep doing it without really thinking about. really, it was a good time while it was happening and i'm kind of glad i got to have the experience because i will never do it again. ever. because, by the time i got home, my head was pounding and i felt sick.

the racing must have been a little too much for my fragile neck to handle because i got the worst migraine i have ever had. long story short (i'll probably post the 'long stoy' part tomorrow), i ended up in the emergency room and didn't make it home and in bed until around 8 a.m. which means that my saturday night plans of going to boston to see green river ordinance were ruined. i can't even find words to explain how disappointed and frustrated and upset that makes me. but i'm trying not to dwell on it.

sunday was the only day that went as planned. mom and dad came home and bailey ate his food and mom and i watched this ridiculously cheesy but based-on-a-true-story hallmark movie and all is right in the world again. except for the fact that i didn't get to see my friends in gro on saturday.

–– s

grownup.

2011-10-14T09:07:00.000-04:00

this week was interesting. i've mentioned it a few times, but my parents have been on vacation. and there's nothing really significant about that except for the part where they've never gone on a week-long vacation without me. not that i can remember anyway. which means that this was the first time i went an entire week without them at home, taking care of me. and feeding me and washing my towels for me and everything else. it was kind of like a glimpse into what my life will be like when i move and have to do all of it on my own. except for the fact that josh was there too.

here are some things i learned this week:

i really am capable of getting up when my alarm goes off. i don't need another person (my mom or my boss) to come in and ask what time i'm getting up because she's worried i'll be late.
i hope my future husband knows how to cook and has some sort of motivation to do it a few times a week because it is exhausting.
^ this is very unlikely.
josh thinks starting the dishwasher qualifies as "helping out." (although, to his credit, he did switch the towels without me asking him to. mainly because i forgot all about the fact that i was even washing a load.)
i do not know the correct amount of tide to put it when doing a load of towels.
bailey does not need to wake up with my mom every morning. he just cratches at my door because he wants to see her.
he is way more of a mama's boy than i originally thought (which is surprising) because he hasn't really been eating or acting normal ever since she left. and he hasn't stopped giving me this "where's mom? i miss her" look.

okay, that's all.

–– s

cooking.

2011-10-13T08:47:00.000-04:00

tuesday was a pretty exciting day with the new fray single and all, but it got even better than that when josh and i went to t's for dinner. she made lemon chicken, carrots, and rice and it was so delicious. i sort of helped make it, but not really. i just did the things she didn't have enough hands for, but i watched what she did, so if i ever feel like making lemon chicken, i'd feel pretty confident about what i was doing. because that's the thing about cooking. i'm not really confident in my ability to do it because i've never done it before, and i've also never paid attention when other people did it. so i'm always wondering if what i'm doing is right because i don't know. and people usually say, "do this until it looks right." and then i say back, "what's it supposed to look like?" because, like i said, i don't know these things.

but, although the dinner was delicious, that's not the really exciting part. the really exciting part is that we watched the lion king on blu ray and it was so much fun. i'm pretty sure that movie's in my top five favorites of all time. and watching it with t and josh makes it exponentially better because they sing along to their favorite songs and get really into it. especially the opening scene with the circle of life. it's moments like this that i wish i could bottle up and keep in my pocket for rainy days (like today) because it makes me so happy, i could burst.

last night was not as exciting, BUT i made dinner all by myself and it actually tasted good and all the food was ready at the same time, so nothing got cold. it was quite a success and i'm pretty proud of myself. i made breaded chicken and some instant pasta things, which is probably the easiest meal to make, but i was by myself and it was pretty much all i could handle. plus, it's all we had in the house and i wasn't about to go grocery shopping. that's the other thing about cooking. you not only have to actually prepare and cook the food, you have to shop and pay for it as well. i'm not ready for that yet. baby steps.

i'm also not ready to be making dinner every night of the week because it's rather tiring, so i'm going to finish the week off josh-style. pizza, anyone?

–– s

the fray.

2011-10-12T08:25:00.000-04:00

i'm not really sure what else came out yesterday other than the new fray song. mainly because every time i went to look, i'd just remember that THE FRAY HAS A NEW SONG and then i'd go listen to it and forget what i was doing.

so here's my (short) recap of new music tuesday:

the fray –– heartbeat (single)

love love love love. i'm not surprised. i love every song this band has ever released. i don't know what it is. the music, the lyrics, the sound of isaac's (or joe's) voice? it just gets me every time. this song is clearly no different. i actually brought my lap top to work, connected to the internet using the 8297426 character password, and downloaded this song so that i didn't have to wait until after work to listen to it. and it's a good thing i did because i've pretty much been listening to it on repeat all day long.
/ itunes

the fray always makes us wait so long before releasing new music, but it's always totally worth it. their new album is due to come out in february of 2012. let's keep our fingers crossed that this date isn't pushed back.

–– s

p.s. you can listen to it here, via soundcloud.

meatloaf.

2011-10-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

you know, i feel like i should have some blogs written in advance so that on days when i don't feel like writing anything, i'll still have something to post. because i don't feel like writing anything today. in fact, if i'm being honest, i don't really feel like doing anything today. except maybe napping.

anyway, i quickly realized after my parents left that them being on vacation for the week means that i'm 100% responsible for feeding myself. which sounds ridiculous because i'm 21 years old. you'd think i'd have that part down, considering that eating is an essential part of living. and i do pretty much have it covered, except for dinner. i always look to my mom for dinner. even if she's not cooking anything, i still look to her to tell me what i can eat. although, in my defense, i have been trying to learn how to cook. i just haven't been very proactive about it. but i do want to figure out what i'm doing in the kitchen before i move and am left completely on my own to figure it out.

josh spent most of the weekend in disbelief because "mom didn't even leave us any pizza money!" i can't tell you how many times we had a conversation about how she should've left us at least something. but really, we're quite old enough to know how to handle it ourselves, so i wasn't too upset about it. however, to josh, "handling it ourselves" means paying for the pizza ourselves. to me, it means sucking it up and actually figuring out how to cook something.

so yesterday, i asked t to help me with dinner because i was clearly on my own and i had no idea what i was doing. i didn't even know how to decide what to make. (i feel bad for my future self in nashville who will have to do this alone every day.) we decided to just make what she was originally planning because she'd already bought the stuff for it, but i made it while she sat in a chair telling me what to do. i mean, it wasn't exactly like that. she was also on facebook. and taking pictures of me touching the raw meat, which i think is the most disgusting thing ever. and she also helped me a little bit when i needed it.

i made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. the green beans were delicious. the rest was not so much. but whatever. at least i made dinner and didn't just buy pizza.

now i just have to figure out what to do for the next four days.

–– s

weekend.

2011-10-10T10:04:00.000-04:00

here's a little weekend wrap up for you.

i saw the ides of march on friday night. i remember seeing previews for it, but i don't remember actually knowing what it was about. judging by the movie poster that feature's half of a cover of time magazine on it, i could tell that it was probably not my kind of a movie. however, ryan gosling is in it. so is george clooney, but more to the point, RYAN GOSLING is in it. so naturally, i went to see it. i was right in assuming that it was not my kind of movie because it was all about politics and i don't know what it is, but something in my brain shuts off whenever people start talking about anything political. which is probably why i could never remember what i saw in the previews. i did pay attention though (as much as you can pay attention to the storyline in a movie when ryan gosling and george clooney are the main actors) and i thought it was pretty good.

in other ryan gosling news, i found this post on ryanseacrest.com. it's called "10 reasons why women are powerless against the effects of ryan gosling." i don't really know what else to say other than i completely agree.

on saturday morning, i woke up around 6 to say goodbye to my parents who are on vacation this week. i don't really remember much of that because 6 a.m. is such an ungodly hour. i thought ahead and said my goodbyes on friday night. i remember those. i woke up for real somewhere between four and six hours later and spent a good chunk of time doing a whole lot of nothing. actually, that's not true. i hung out with josh while he called customer support because his xbox live wasn't connecting to the internet. then i watched him "carry his team" by getting the most kills after he was finally connected again. shortly after that, he left to go hang out with his friends and i watched inception.

okay, i saw inception once before in the theaters when it first came out and i've been wanting to watch it again because it's one of those movies that requires your attention and makes you think about it for days after you watch it. and i thought that watching it again would give me more insight or i'd at least notice something i didn't notice before. but i'm pretty sure i had the exact same reaction that i had the first time i saw it. which might be because it's been so long since i've seen it, but i'm not about to watch it again just to see.

in case you're wondering, i strongly believe that the totem falls over at the end. and that's entirely based on the fact that i just think it does.

saturday night was spent watching e.t. with t and lee and ruxing. i've never seen that movie before (i've never seen a lot of movies that make people gasp and say "but it's a classic!") and, i have to say, it's probably one of the strangest movies i have ever seen and i don't understand all the fuss. like, i really don't. what am i missing? is it just one of those nostalgia things, where the movie's not really that good, but you love it anyway because you remember when it came out or you loved it as a child or something?

on sunday, i accidentally invented a nail polish color. i mean, not really because this color probably already exists, but i created it using two nail polishes i have. what happened was, i started painting my nails "commander in chic" (by sally hansen) and while i was waiting for the first coat to dry, i decided that i didn't actually want to paint my nails that color. but instead of taking it off and picking a new color, i thought i'd try using a different color for the second coat to create a new color because i'm sick of all the colors i have. so i put "back to the fuchsia" (also by sally hansen) on top. i actually really like the way it turned out. it sort of looks like this, but more purple-ish:

yeah, so i think it was a pretty successful weekend. and now i get to celebrate columbus day by spending the day at work. how exciting!

–– s

inspiring.

2011-10-07T08:29:00.000-04:00

i'm tired and i'm cold and i feel like this week has just dragged. therefore, i'm going to use another person's words to make up for the fact that i cannot think of my own. again.

this may or may not become a weekly thing here on fridays. it all depends on whether or not i will eventually figure out how to manage my time better so that i don't feel like all of my energy is drained by the time friday rolls around.

please ignore the fact that i have been working full time now for about four months and i still haven't gotten a handle on it.

okay, here it is. you've probably seen bits and pieces of this, but read the whole thing. it's inspiring. it's LONG, but it's inspiring. and it's a shame that it didn't circulate the internet (enough for me to find it) before he passed away.

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much."

–– steve jobs, commencement address at stanford university on june 12, 2005 (source)

the beauty of letting go.

2011-10-06T08:18:00.000-04:00

so i took another look at my bank accounts yesterday and did some more calculating and tried to figure out how i could squeeze a few more dollars out of my already tight budget to put in my savings account, which i frequently refer to as my "nashville fund." it's like i was never offered another job, so i only have my one source of income to work with, which i already figured out wouldn't be enough and i was trying to see if maybe i stared at it long enough or added the numbers in a different order, then i could find a different outcome.

then on my way home from work, i thought about what i was going to say when i called to turn down the job that i was offered and i thought about what she might say back to me. i let my mind wander and wondered what if she tells me that she'd pay me a much higher rate than what she originally said? of course, i know that's not realistic, but it was like i was testing myself to see what my reaction would be. sure enough, there was a second where i thought, if it was a significant amount more, i'd be tempted to change my mind and take the job. and i mean seriously tempted, because a significant amount more money would mean getting to nashville faster.

it's like i completely forgot all about how i decided to let go and trust that God will get me to nashville when He's good and ready for me to be there. i completely forgot about what happened only two days ago. why am i already picking this problem up again?

jon acuff posted a blog on stuff Christians like about this exact topic yesterday. it's called "why i hate surrender" and i think it perfectly applies to my life and my current struggles. and my struggles from two months ago when i wrote this post. and probably my future struggles as well. because letting go is literally the hardest thing to do.

i feel like there could not be a more appropriate time to quote the fray than right now. "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." so true, but why does it have to be that way? wouldn't it be nice if you could just box up your problems and worries and fears and literally drop them in a mailbox somewhere with no return address attached? but things like that aren't tangible, which means that, often times, you don't even realize that you're holding on to them so tightly. what's worse is that it also means that it's easy to pick them back up without realizing it.

i think i have made the "picking it back up" part my specialty.

it's just so easy to forget and let the fear and the lies take over. you know the ones. as jon puts it, the lies that say "if you empty your hands, God will put something less than amazing in them." more specifically, "the lie of chasing your dream: that when you let go of your plans and trust God's, He will call you into a mission that you will hate." or in my case, He will call you into a mundane life in connecticut that you will hate. it sounds silly and so clearly untrue, but it gets me every time. i think that, if i want to move, i have to make it happen for myself because if i don't, it won't happen and i'll be stuck with something i don't want.

but i have to remember that it's the other way around. if i empty my hands, God will fill them with things that are even more amazing that i can even imagine.

i have to remember that "surrender is not the end of a beautiful life. it's the beginning."

–– s

p.s. album of the day: the beauty of letting go by green river ordinance.

jack's mannequin & phil wickham.

2011-10-05T08:16:00.000-04:00

okay, so much new music came out yesterday that i was not aware of. the only thing i was really prepared for was the new jack's mannequin, so you can imagine what kinds of problems came up when i realized i didn't just want to buy one new album, but four new albums. uhhhh..

but don't worry. i do have some sort of self control. it's called I'D RATHER MOVE TO NASHVILLE THAN BUY EVERY NEW ALBUM ON ITUNES. (i feel like yelling that statement makes you understand how serious i am about that.) so i only bought the jack's mannequin album and added the rest to my wish list. and then i may have said a short prayer that i will find an itunes gift card lying in the street somewhere so that i can buy the rest without taking away from nashville.

so here's my recap of new music tuesday:

jack's mannequin –– people and things

if you don't already know about jack's mannequin, i suggest you purchase this album, if not his entire discography, and maybe even do some googling. because, while andrew mcmahon creates some really great music, he also has a really amazing story. i'm pretty much always in the mood to listen to his music, so i'm excited that i have 15 new tracks to add to the collection.
favorites: i'm gonna have to get back to you on this one. i just keep listening and thinking, "oh i like this one! and this one, and this one, and this one too!" / itunes

edit: i don't know how i forgot to mention this very obvious detail, but the title of this blog comes from a jack's mannequin song. "i'm ready."

phil wickham –– response

i actually forgot this album hasn't come out yet because i preordered it ages ago and got to instantly download the whole thing, so i've been listening to it for a while. like each of his other albums, this one's full of some really powerful lyrics. this man clearly has a God-given talent. if you like what you hear on this album, he has three others that are just as amazing.
favorites: "sun and moon" & "all i am" / itunes

i also just want to mention that if you "like" noisetrade on facebook, you get a free 30-song sampler. if you don't know what noisetrade is, i suggest you check it out. tons of good music and it's all available for free!

–– s

faith.

2011-10-04T08:35:00.000-04:00

a few weeks ago, i took a close look at my bank accounts and i calculated how much money i would need in order to move in january and compared it to how much money i'll probably be able to save by then. including what i've already been able to save, the number's didn't totally match, but they were close enough to make me think it could work if i could earn just a little bit more money. so i applied for a few part time hostessing jobs. because it needs to work already.

on thursday, i had an interview. she told me she had another interview lined up for monday (yesterday) and that she'd let me know her decision after that. the following was my thought process after i left. or rather, what i prayed as i was driving home.

please let this other girl be better than me. i don't want this job. please prove to me that i'm not supposed to work there by having her not offer me the job. seriously though, i'm going to take this as a sign. if i'm offered the job, i'm going to interpret it as You telling me that i'm supposed to work there. but i don't want to, so please let this other girl she interviews on monday be amazing. especially because i don't want to have to say no if she does offer me the job. i really don't want to have to turn it down.

and that's when i realized that i was probably going to be offered the job and it was going to be my call whether i took it or not. and since i was pretty sure that i wasn't supposed to take it, i spent all of my free time throughout the weekend praying (or pleading) that i wouldn't be put in that position because i didn't want to have to be the one to say no.

i don't know why i walked out of that restaurant and immediately knew i wasn't supposed to work there, but i did. and as the weekend went on, i felt more and more convinced that not only am i not supposed to work at this particular restaurant, but i'm not supposed to work at any job other than the one i currently have. why? because my reason for getting another job is based solely on the fact that i want to move to nashville and i want to move in january. and in order to make sure that happens, i need another job.

last night, i got a call from the woman i interviewed with and guess what she said? she offered me the job. and you know what my first thought was? i was annoyed. because i told God that if i was offered the job, i would interpret that to mean i was supposed to take it. but i'm not, which means He didn't listen and now i'm going to have to turn it down.

but i didn't. not yet. we went back and forth over the phone and she agreed to let me think it over and let her know in a couple of days.

here's what happened when i asked for my mom's opinion:

my mom: "you feel like God wants you in nashville, so you're getting this job as a way to like, help Him get you there. right?"
me: "UGH. yes."
my mom: "okay then."
me: "but i want to be able to move in january!"
my mom: "but do you want to be able to move in january, come hell or high water? or do you want to wait and be able to move because it's God's will for you to move?"
me: "i want it to be God's will for me to move in january."

in conclusion, i'm not taking the job. because that's not me having faith. that's me trying to be in control. or, as my mom puts it, that's me "trying to help God out."

sometimes i just get a little distracted and i want to hurry up and be in nashville already. but, like big mama's super smart third grader once said, "sometimes we have to walk to our future even when it feels like we want to run."

let me just tell you, i want to run.

–– s

p.s. song of the day: "give me faith" by elevation worship.

ben rector & graham colton. 09-30-2011

2011-10-03T10:46:00.000-04:00

on friday night, i went to a show in boston (at the red room at cafe 939 at berklee) (lots of at's in there) and saw ben rector and graham colton. well, technically i only saw ben play, but we did chat with graham for a minute or two.

but let's back up.

this show has been on my list since i realized i wasn't moving to nashville in september and literally created a list of fall shows i needed to go to since i'd still be here. that's right. shows i needed to go to. so you can imagine how much my heart sank when i went to buy tickets for this show and saw that it was sold out.

i only panicked for about a minute and a half before doing what any normal fan would do and emailed ben's management company and asked if there was any other way to get tickets.

before you judge me for being that girl, let me just say that the only reason i felt comfortable emailing them is because i plan on interning there when i move, so i've talked to them multiple times before. AND i also helped promote the show and was sent posters and stuff.

i got a response that there definitely weren't any more tickets, but there was still room on the guest list and i could also have a plus one if i needed it. but the problem was that me, leah, and sarah were going to this show. so we still needed one more ticket. leah ended up tweeted about it and got herself on the guest list as well, so it all worked out. especially since being on the guest list means it was FREE. (thanks trivate entertainment for being awesome.)

okay. fast forward to friday night.

leah and i both drove ourselves to sarah's apartment in quincy because leah had plans to sleep over and hang out with sarah all day on saturday and i had plans to go home and sleep. it was our only option, so we just kind of went with it, but OH MY WORD. i will never do that again.

basically, leah was following directions from her phone and i was following leah. which wouldn't have been so bad, but there was LOTS of traffic and there were LOTS of times when cars got in between us, during which times i would literally yell at the cars, "CAN YOU MOVE?" but we finally made it, and from there, we all took the t to the show.

by the time we got there, ben was already playing and we had completely missed graham. and we had to stand in the back where you could barely see anything, with these two older ladies who were looking at each other going, "who's this? ben rector?" it wasn't that bad though. we managed to find ways to peek around people's heads and at one point, ben came out into the crowd and stood on a stool, so that was exciting.

after it was over, i took pictures with both of them (because leah and sarah didn't really know who graham was and, even though i missed seeing him play, i'm still a fan) and leah and sarah got a picture with ben. after that, we went to tasty burger, which has become somewhat of a tradition after shows in boston. and then we all went back to sarah's and they stayed there and i drove home.

it was definitely an experience, to say the least. much different from what normally happens when i go to shows. mainly because i'm never in the car alone and i'm never the one who's driving. and i usually am more obsessive when it comes to shows and arriving early enough to be right next to the stage. you know.

here are some things i learned:

it costs $1.25 to enter and exit boston. PLUS $2.90 in tolls. each way.
driving in boston is no joke. i am not a fan.
the same goes for driving home from boston at midnight. in the rain.
it takes a certain skill to know how to navigate travel on the t. i do not have this skill.
ben rector's smile looks less like a smile and more like a nose crinkle.
graham colton is very friendly and frequently loses his sharpies.

ben rector (left) & graham colton (right)

and those are the only two photos i have from the night. which is definitely different than the norm because usually i either run out of battery or space on my memory card before the night is over.

–– s

reblog.

2011-09-30T08:21:00.000-04:00

happy friday!

today's post is taken from jamie tworkowski's personal blog. (jamie tworkowski - the twloha guy.) he's an incredible writer and i think this post is perfect, and fitting, so i wanted to include it on my blog.

songs are allowed to be real, raw, honest, urgent, epic, poetic, intense, vulnerable. songs are allowed to ask questions. songs are allowed to say "i am not satisfied." songs are allowed to say "i am not where i would like to be."

it's awkward to say those things in most settings. people worry. people ask questions. it's a scary thing to write that way outside of songs.

but i started this blog because that's the sort of writing that i'm interested in. and because i would like to live a story i believe in but the truth is that i don't know how. my guess is that's the place most words are born.

there are things in this life worth screaming about, worth crying about, worth fighting for. there are things that steal my sleep and dreams i can't not dream. i would like to write about them. because i don't know what else to do with them.

if i could play guitar and sing like my friends, i would write songs. but i can't. so these will be my songs and i'll place them on this stage. and i'll place them here with hope that they might cause someone to feel. to feel less alone and more alive as we wait. i say "we" because i am waiting too. waiting with some small hope that this is not a story about disappointment. not a story about regret. i am waiting to be surprised.

and so i sing.

–– jamie tworkowski (source)

sick.

2011-09-29T07:40:00.000-04:00

i have a cold or something. it started out on saturday with a headache and my throat hurting when i swallowed, then i started sneezing. after that, my nose started running (and hasn't stopped since) and got all stuffy, but only on one side. now my throat doesn't hurt anymore, but my head still kind of hurts in that it feels heavy kind of way. i've also switched from sneezing to coughing, but it's an occasional cough.

is that normal? i don't really know. i never pay attention enough to remember for next time. probably because i always assume there won't be a next time. because this time seems like it's going to last forever.

you know that feeling you get when something really terrible happens, like you get a cold and your nose starts functioning like a leaky faucet, and it's so awful that you just can't see past it and you think it'll go on forever? i'm currently experiencing that feeling.

i'm also currently experiencing a bit of add, considering the fact that i just spent approximately 45 minutes creating playlists mid-blog post.

i'm actually really bad at making playlists because i have so much music and there are so many different things i could do with it that i just get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing with it. which results in me listening to only a fraction of the music i own because i forget about the majority of it. because it's not in neat little playlists.

i wonder how other people do it. like, do they think of a playlist they want to make and then search their itunes library for which songs to include? or do they already know which songs they want on their playlist? because for me, i have to look at the music and then decide "okay this is the kind of song i'd have in a playlist called [insert name of playlist here]." in the past, i have even gone as far as making a playlist called songs that should be in a playlist. because sometimes i know i want a song in a playlist, but i don't know which one.

right now, i just created playlists called autumn, listen, and new. they're not really finished yet. i'm too easily distracted right now to actually focus on one thing. and i think it's time for bed. tomorrow's going to be a long day and it'll be better if i'm less sick and sleepy.

–– s

p.s. i wrote this last night, but i'm posting it this morning. don't be confused.

this ain't rock & roll.

2011-09-28T08:35:00.000-04:00

i will probably post about music on wednesdays because tuesday is when new music comes out and, i'm not sure if you realize this or not, but music is my favorite thing to talk about. in fact, my twitter has basically become sarah's music feed because the majority of what i tweet is what i'm listening to and loving.

but today, i'm just going to talk a little bit about what i'm currently listening to since nothing that came out yesterday is anything i'm particularly excited about. (although, i keep seeing tweets about how great the new switchfoot album is.)

ben rector (something like this): ben has been a favorite of mine ever since his last album came out and nearly everyone i follow on twitter was blowing up my feed with a countdown to its release. i just had to see what this guy was all about and i instantly fell in love. this album is just as amazing. the fourth track, "without you," is my current favorite.
eric church (chief): i have @samantha797 (from trivate) to thank for this one. she tweeted nonstop about this album for about a week after it came out. i saw it on the shelf at target and impulsively bought it. i have no regrets. "springsteen" is my favorite.
graham colton (pacific coast eyes): i've been a fan ever since he toured with kelly clarkson, which was a looong time ago. this album just reminded me how great his voice is. seriously. "pacific coast eyes" or "twenty something" are probably my two favorites, although it's tough to decide.
jon mclaughlin (forever if ever): this man is amazingly talented and this album beautifully displays that. it's been a long time coming, but it was definitely worth the wait. "a little too hard (a little too fast)" and "summer is over" might be the two favorites.
mat kearney (hey mama): the rap is back! i am in love with every song he's released and these are no exception. the energy is incredible. i use this album as my playlist when i go running. "hey mama" and "ships in the night" are my favorites.
needtobreathe (the reckoning): just look through my tweets and tumblr posts from the past few weeks. i cannot say enough about this band or this album. i am completely blown away by the fact that they continue to get better and better when they were already so amazing to begin with. and if you think you love them in the studio, just wait until you hear them live. it's life-changing. i can't pick a favorite, but "tyrant kings" probably has the highest play count because i instantly fell in love with it when i first heard it played live.
steve moakler (watching time run): i've been a fan of steve moakler for years. i can't get enough of his music, so when he asked his fans to be "parachutes" and help him fund this record using kickstarter, i instantly jumped at the opportunity. and it was worth every penny. lots of favorites on this album, but "this ain't rock and roll" is the one i listen to first.

to see the rest of my list, click here.

–– s

written.

2011-09-27T08:56:00.000-04:00

let me just tell you this up front.

for my old blog, i had this unwritten rule for myself that i would post at least once a week. it was a new year's resolution that i was pretty excited about. pretty excited about for approximately one month, because, if you look and see, i broke my own rule four weeks after i made it. in fact, i barely even posted at all this year. sticking to my new year's resolutions is clearly one of my strong suits.

but i want this blog to be different, so i'm going to post every day. that's right. every. day. because i want to write and what happened before was that i always waited for something to write about, but that's not the point. the point is to write, even if i don't have anything to write about. it's the obvious answer, but i've always kind of avoided it because it seemed hard and i'd probably write a lot of boring posts and what if no one reads it? but that's just crazy talk. t always reads everything i write.

so i'm making it a written rule that i write every day. even if i think i have nothing to say or it ends up being boring. i want consistency. one post every day. excluding weekends. because that way i will at least have something to say on mondays.

with that said, it's day two and i already feel like i have nothing to talk about. clearly, i'm off to a great start.

while i'm at it, i should also mention that i'm trying this new thing where i wake up extra early (like, at 5 a.m.) so i can have some sarah time before i start the day. the thought is that by starting my day off doing whatever i want to do, the rest of the day will be productive because i started out in a good mood.

although, i'm 0 for 2 here because i have yet to get myself out of bed earlier than 7 a.m. these past two days. in my defense, i am fighting a cold right now and any extra sleep helps, but let's be honest. i'm not really sure if 5 a.m. is ever going to work out because it's such an ungodly hour, even for the healthy. i keep setting my alarm, thinking that maybe one day i'll wake up and be actually ready to start my day before the sun.

doubtful, but i'll keep you posted. in the mean time, i need to get to work.

–– s

new.

2011-09-26T08:47:00.000-04:00

i have a blog, which features everything i've ever written on the internet. (not including what i posted on modblog because modblog doesn't exist anymore.)

i have a tumblr, which features basically whatever i want whenever i feel like posting it.

but i want something new. something untouched. something that makes me feel like i just opened a brand new notebook at the beginning of a semester at school.

that's what this is. this is my something new.

basically, you can click the links for my blog or my tumblr, or even my twitter, and find out a lot about me. but here's a quick summary:

my name is sarah and i'm twenty-one. in about a month, you can add another year onto that, but i don't want to talk about it. i just graduated college this past may (from the university of hartford, with a degree in communications, blah blah blah), so i'm officially in "the real world" now. but i don't want to talk about that either.

i'd much rather talk about faith or love or music or nashville or how i'm going to move there someday, someday soon, and be a band manager. so i guess that's what i'll be posting about. along with anything else i find necessary to write about.

i'll try to make it interesting, but i can't make any promises.

–– s

#irrational.

2011-09-07T22:07:00.001-04:00

so last night, there was a spider in my bed. on my pillow. right next to my head. i say that casually, like it was no big deal, but i actually left my room and slept on the couch because it was speedy and it got away and i just couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep, knowing that it was still crawling around somewhere, possibly near my head. hello. it was A SPIDER. IN MY BED.

although, let’s be real, i didn’t get very much sleep on the couch either. in fact, i got a total of two hours of sleep last night. two. hours. here’s what i did instead:

watch tv (the rachel zoe project & a marathon of random friends episodes)
look around the room for possible spiders crawling around

needless to say, after work today, i spent the evening cleaning my entire room, top to bottom. i mean, i cleaned like i have never cleaned before. my parents thought it was pretty comical and my dad made a comment about how he’ll just bring a spider in whenever the house needs to be cleaned. but spiders freak me out, clearly, and i needed to find it and kill it so i can get some sleep.

unfortunately, there was no sign of the spider that was in my bed last night. my mom kept telling me that i probably sucked it up in the vacuum and just didn’t know it, but i don’t think she knows what she’s talking about because unless you kill them and know they’re dead, they ALWAYS come back. i tried telling her, but she just rolled her eyes at me.

i always knew i was afraid of spiders. obviously. i don’t like to drive with the windows down because (other than the fact that it messes up my hair), i’m always scared that a spider is going to drop down into the car. (which has happened before.)

i learned today that it’s a little more than just a fear of spiders. i am incredibly, irrationally afraid of them.

welcome to the real world, sarah.

2011-09-06T22:04:00.002-04:00

can we just talk about how weird it is that i’m not going back to school? because it is WEIRD. people always tell you that they miss being in school and that you will too after you graduate. and you just look at them and maybe even roll your eyes because you know how much work it is and how stressful it is and you think they must have just forgotten because who would wish to have that again?

but now i kind of see where they’re coming from. it’s not so much that you miss the work or the stress, it’s that feeling you get in your stomach when you go back at the beginning of the year. with your new clothes and pens and notebooks. everything feels so fresh, so new. there’s so much potential because you haven’t screwed anything up or failed anything yet. and you don’t really have to work because you can get student loans to take care of everything.

it’s the fact that when you’re a student, you focus on being a student and that’s pretty much it. when you’re not a student anymore, you have to do a whole different kind of balancing act.

you have to get a job because you now have to start paying for things. everything. including those life-saving student loans.
at this job, you basically do the same thing. every day. from 8 to 4:30. monday through friday.
the 30 minutes you get for lunch feels like five minutes.
the 30 minutes between 4 an 4:30 feels like five hours.
the portable speaker you spent a solid $10 on so you could play your ipod at your desk is broken so you have to buy a new one.
you feel like you have to limit the number of times you use the bathroom because you think your coworkers will judge you for how often you go.
you need to build credit, but no one will give you a credit card. because you don’t have any credit.
you have to wear professional clothes every day, which is fun to shop for, but not fun to pay for.
etc.

basically, i don’t wish i was in school again and i am glad that i am finally finished. but i do miss it because “the real world” is not any easier or as glamorous as you think it is. it’s actually really scary because you have nothing to fall back on. you can’t just decide to change jobs like you could just change majors. there are no classrooms or teachers or grades.

it’s just you, with your 40-hour-a-week job, trying to figure out what to do next.

oh, irene.

2011-08-29T22:57:00.003-04:00

i’m in a hotel again. i’m not really sure why, because we knew we would lose power. we knew we would be without it for days. isn’t that why we bought all that water and washed all our laundry and prepared for it?

i wasn’t even 12 hours after we lost it that my mom called her friend at our hotel (“our hotel” because we basically lived here a little while ago) and got us some rooms. you can imagine our excitement when, 17 minutes after we got here, the power went out.

AWESOME.

so i left and drove around for a bit, looking for food and charging my phone. i ended up sitting in a parking lot, eating wendy’s, listening to bad music on the radio, and waited for my phone to charge. my parents actually came and met me because they were bored and were looking for something to do. it was really an exciting night.

we stayed at the hotel, even though the power was out there too, because at least they still have running water and hot showers. that’s the thing about where i live. we have well water and losing power means losing water too. fortunately, the power came back on at the hotel a few hours after we got back, so it all worked out.

we’re here again tonight because we still don’t have power at home, but i’m probably going to t’s tomorrow because she got her power back and i don’t think i could tollerate another night in the same room as josh. don’t get me wrong, i like hanging out with him. but he watches bad tv, turns the volume up way too loud, and then falls asleep with it like that. right now, he’s watching some wrestling program and yelling, “hit ‘em! hit ‘em!” i took pop culture last summer and learned all about wrestling and how dumb (and fake) it is. i don’t understand why it attracts so many people. these guys aren’t even good looking.

anyway, i’ve been writing a lot lately (since the power went out) because there are only so many things you can do to fill the time when electricity isn’t involved. it’s been kind of nice. and i just thought i’d post something so you can know what i’ve been up to and that i didn’t get blown away or anything when irene came to town.

nashville.

2011-08-06T22:53:00.000-04:00

i want to move. right now. i want to move. i’ve waited and waited, and waited long enough. i spent my summer saving and preparing and now i’m ready to move. so let’s go. what am i waiting for?

a job.

literally. that’s what i’m waiting for. i need a job. and not just any job, but the right job. because if i’m going to do this, i’m going to do this right. so i’m going to get the right job, the job i’m meant to have. so where is it? i don’t know. but i’ve been looking and looking because i need this job so that i can move. right now. i want to move.

the more days that pass, the more frustrated i get that i haven’t found this job yet. i know that God will open the doors that i need to walk through and close the doors that will lead me in the wrong direction, but i don’t even see any doors. why are there no doors? hello?

i started to wonder if i’m not meant to move yet. maybe i’m supposed to stop and wait and save some more. but i feel like maybe i’m supposed to keep looking for jobs while i’m waiting, just in case. i mean, people have told me that i need to justdo it. you know? just go. they tell me that if i keep waiting, i’ll never make it there.

so i should keep looking for jobs then. even though it’s stressful and frustrating, that’s what i need to move. so, once i find one, i can just go and it will be worth it. right? right? God, am i right?

His silence kills me. like, do i have it all wrong? am i not supposed to move at all? because i feel like i am. why not right now? i don’t get it. speak to me!

and then i saw a bumper sticker on the back of a mini van that yelled at me to TRUST JESUS. and i wondered if maybe i wasn’t putting enough trust in Him. maybe i was holding on too tightly. i mean, this is my dream we’re talking about here. my passion. my future. why would i give it to Him? it’s mine.

oh. maybe i forgot that my dream, my passion, my future is, in fact, not mine, but belongs to the One who gave it to me. Maybe i forgot that, when the world tells me to chase my dreams and make things happen for myself and just do it already, i shouldn’t listen because i have a God who provides and has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

maybe i forgot that, instead of asking why i’m not being prospered, i should be trusting in Him with ALL my heart and leaning not on my own understanding and acknowledging Him in ALL my ways because He will make my path straight.

so i’ve stopped looking for jobs. i’ve let go of wanting to move right now. and i’m not worrying about it because i know that if i’m searching for God’s will, i won’t miss it.

i just won’t.

who knows? maybe things will suddenly fall into place and i’ll be able to move.right now.

july 27, 2011

2011-07-27T19:51:00.003-04:00

when i first started blogging, i had a blogger blog. mainly because i was new and tumblr was too complicated for me. (it was a bit different back then.) but i wrote a lot, because that’s pretty much the main purpose of a blogger –– words. and sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was serious, sometimes i seriously wondered why i even kept posting to it, because who read it anyway?

but people did and i know they did because i’d occasionally have them tell me how funny it was or how much they liked it and i learned very quickly that it’s a strange thing to have random people, or people you barely talk to, reference something you posted online in a blog that you didn’t think your mother read, let alone anyone else.

so i kept writing and, after a while, i guess i sort of developed a theme for it because i was going through this weird time where i realized mid-semester that i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life. so i dropped all of my classes and took the rest of the semester off to do some serious praying. i won’t get into the details (because i’ve already written about it), but i will say that it was the scariest thing i had ever done and the biggest step of faith i’d ever taken.

i titled my blog “p.s. i definitely cannot see the ground.” because walking in faith is like walking when you’re not really sure there’s ground beneath your feet.

i’m saying all of this because i relearned that lesson a few weeks ago when i dropped everything and took another leap of faith by going to sr. high camp.

basically, here’s what happened: i signed up to go to kid’s camp and sr. high camp. (i usually only go to kid’s camp.) i’m not really sure why i checked the sr. high box, i didn’t really know if i wanted to go, but i did it and figured if it worked out, great. if not, oh well. then my boss (who is also my mom) told me that i couldn’t take two weeks off. so i figured that was it –– door closed. not a big deal. THEN, the day before camp started, everything changed, the door opened back up, and i had the opportunity to go. so i went.

now, here’s the thing about that: i was sick, injured, tired, you name it. not to mention the fact that i had a dentist appointment and a million other things on my to-do list after my week away at kid’s camp. i literally had no idea how i was going to make it through the week, but i knew i had to go. i knew i had to be there. it was just one of those things. i was meant to be there.

and, even though there wasn’t one thing that happened or one moment that stood out to prove it, i know that camp was exactly where i needed to be. i can’t really explain it. i just feel like it was an experience i needed to have and it changed me. i mean, i learned so much about myself and about God and how does anything else compare to that?

faith is a scary thing, but it’s also exciting because, without it, you miss out on all the amazing things God has for you.

and, i don’t know about you, but i don’t want to miss out on anything else.

june 22, 2011

2011-06-22T19:46:00.004-04:00

living in a hotel really has its pros and cons.

pro: someone else makes your bed, cleans your room, and empties your trash for you.
con: someone else is in your room, when you’re not there, touching your stuff and probably judging you by the things you think are important enough to bring with you into a hotel.

pro: you get to jump on the bed all you want.
con: the bed is uncomfortable and impossible to sleep on. not to mention the potential grossness.

pro: it feels like you’re on vacation.
con: it’s deceiving because you’re not on vacation and you still have to wake up early to go to work. and, when you literally live one town over, it’s definitely not a vacation.

pro: you get to share a room with your brother again.
con: you have to share a room with your brother again, which means you have to change in the bathroom and turn the light off at 10:30 p.m. because he has to get up for work “in a few hours.”

pro: it’s like an adventure!
con: you’re actually just living out of a suitcase. (unless you’re my mom and choose to unpack your entire suitcase the minute you check in.) (i am not my mom.)

pro: you get free breakfast.
con: you have no groceries, so you have to buy lunch.

pro: it’s literally right next to the highway.
con: it’s literally right next to the highway.

pro: ..i ran out of pros.
con: the guy across the hall, who the lady at the front desk refers to as a regular here, is a chain smoker and you’re allergic to cigarette smoke. not to mention the fact that secondhand smoke also kills people.

/please excuse my current state of pessimism, which is caused by the fact that needtobreathe (and t swift) are in town tonight and i don’t have tickets.

june 15, 2011

2011-06-15T19:45:00.002-04:00

okay. i thought that after i graduated, i’d have so much free time to do whatever i wanted. i mean, i had lists of things i wanted to do. things like reading, watching movies, running, painting my nails, reorganizing my room, and a number of other fun, productive things. ..i have done almost none of these things. in fact, i’m not even sure where those lists are because i haven’t had time to find them. seriously. what is this? and july is like, two weeks away.

(although, i’m not complaining about how fast time’s going by because that just means i’ll be in nashville sooner.)

so, this is what life is like after college. i just work. no classes, no homework, no back-to-school shopping, nothing. not that i’m complaining, but i’m just saying. it’s just work.

and whatever it is that i decide to do after work.

but here’s the thing about that –– i’m not really sure i could tell you what i’ve been doing after work for the past couple of weeks. i mean, i know i’ve been doing things because i’m barely ever home, but i have really accomplished nothing significant in the month since i graduated.

i’ve just been busy. doing what? i don’t know.

stuff.

i guess the point of this post is just to say that life after college is not as glamorous as i imagined it would be. i’m still tired all the time, my room is still messy, and i still don’t have any sarah time.

what’s up with that?

/oh hey, remember that time i graduated?

2011-05-17T19:42:00.003-04:00

i’ve been meaning to write something for a while, but all the craziness that comes with the end of the semester and graduation has been a bit stressful. and stressed-out sarah can’t write, as we well learned during those three weeks when i decided to be a writing major.

but school’s over now and it feels kinda weird because it’s over forever. forever forever. to celebrate, i made a list of things i will never have to do ever again:

sit in class, bored out of my mind.
spend an entire weekend plus all of my free time during the week thinking about or actually doing homework.
pay $500+ for books i won’t even open once.
find scholarly articles from academic comm journals for some ridiculous research paper.
a research proposal, which includes reasons why the topic i chose (and couldn’t care less about) is worth researching.
stay up all night to finish that research paper.
stress out about classes that have nothing to do with my career path whatsoever.
work on a group project with other students who would have to dig a hole in the ground to actually see how low their standards are, which they would never do because that requires too much effort.
worry about my gpa getting any lower.

i’m sure i could think of more, but i don’t really feel like it. plus i also wanted to say, for the record - because i’ve posted about it so many times, that my final gpa is a 3.80, which means that i graduated summa cum laude. woo!

speaking of which, i graduated on sunday. did i forget to mention that? it was pretty great, minus the fact that the first part of the ceremony, which consisted of all the boring things - like the speeches and whatnot, was outside and it rained. like, poured. and they didn’t use the rain schedule like they should have.

i can’t even explain how irritating it is that they continued to have graduation outside when most of the graduates and family were crowded inside, soaking wet, because no one wanted to continue to sit on wet chairs, in the rain. PLUS i wasn’t feeling well either, so that whole first part was just kind of miserable all around.

luckily, the second part - where we broke up into sections and got our degrees by which school we’re in - was inside. for me, at least. (some people were in the rain for the whole thing.) so i decided to just skip the first part altogether and wait inside for the second part to start, which was much better. it was short and sweet and i got my degree and it was the first time that day where i actually had a real smile on my face. i smiled so much that my cheeks hurt.

it was absolutely wonderful.

two years later...

2011-05-02T19:44:00.001-04:00

does anyone remember a couple of years ago when everyone was posting notes on facebook with 25 facts about themselves? i wrote mine on january 27, 2009 and i just refound it. i thought it was pretty interesting to see what’s changed and what hasn’t, so these are my 25 things and what’s bolded are the things that are still true and what’s crossed out is things that are not.

i did this once already, got up to 15, and my internet had a spasm and i lost it.
i pray in my free time to avoid freaking out about stressful things. ehhh. i need to do this more.
i think reading is better than watching tv.
i love love love the fray. i get really excited whenever i hear them.
i floss every day.
being in new hampshire makes me happy. i wish i could visit more often.
i tend to give people i don’t know nicknames. (ie: eyelashes, “the help,” etc.)
~~my birthday and Christmas wish lists always include a trip to disney world.~~
it takes me forever to write anything if i know someone else is going to read it. a.k.a. blogs.
naps are wonderful. they will never not be wonderful.
taylor swift lyrics describe my life.
i like to pretend alexis is my niece ~~& i don’t deny it when people ask if she is.~~ and now aiden is considered my nephew.
~~i write blogs on myspace.~~ tumblr.
~~i like talking about our mii characters as if they’re real people.~~
i am not a morning person.
~~i’ve always wanted to live in nyc.~~ it’s true that i did used to want to, but now i don’t feel the need to live there. i’m moving to nash instead.
~~wii fit tells me i’m 22. my sports fitness age is 35.~~ i don’t play wii anymore.
i wash my hands a lot in the winter to warm them up.
~~i could easily list off things for my mom to put on her 25 things list, but i’m struggling with my own.~~ i could probably easily write 25 things about myself if i wanted to.
i don’t mind being the third wheel. usually.
~~the hardest part about my job is working with shoes and not being able to afford them.~~ i wish i still had a 30% discount.
my car’s name is gladys. she’s still going strong!
the beach is probably my favorite place to be. (i also still do that thing where i say ‘probably’ when i really mean ‘definitely.’ i actually do that a lot.)
i miss sleepovers with my bff.
this probably took me a good three hours to finish.

april 12, 10:14 p.m.

2011-04-12T22:37:00.000-04:00

i haven’t written in weeks. this happens to me a lot. there will be weeks (sometimes months) at a time when i should be writing a lot because i just have so much on my mind, but that’s exactly why i can’t write anything at all. it frustrates me that i can’t find the right words to describe it all. so i don’t even bother trying.

that’s bad, i know. i shouldn’t do that. i keep telling myself that i should just write anyway, even if i don’t post any of it. but i still don’t. i need to find some way to get out of that habit.

anyway, i’m going to try to post more. i’ll start by recapping my life since the last time i wrote. (which was on february 19. almost two months ago. whaaat.)

i went to nashville.

and that’s pretty much it. the rest of my life is the same as always: eat, sleep (maybe), school/homework, work/internship, repeat. you’re jealous, i know. but let’s talk about nashville.

i posted a few times while i was there (and you can find those posts tagged as “I’M IN NASHVILLE”), but it didn’t really do the trip any justice. honestly, i had every intention of posting a lot while i was there, but like i said before, i just couldn’t find the words to describe it. and actually, i still don’t know how. so i’m not going to.

(although, i will have you know that i wrote every day while i was there. like, everything. i wrote about everything we did, the funny things that happened, the annoying things that happened, and how i felt about all of it. i didn’t want to forget anything. but those 15 pages are for my eyes only. you’d probably think i was insane if you read half the things i wrote.)

anyway, this is pretty much what happened: i fell in love. and i didn’t want to come back and all i can think about since i’ve been back is how much longer i have to wait until i can move. which, for those of you who are wondering, is probably not going to be soon. unfortunately. but we’ll see what happens.
and that’s it. that’s all i’m going to say about nash right now. because i don’t know what else to say. but this probably won’t be the last time i write about nashville so stay tuned.

or don’t. you know, whatever.

(i pretty much only post for myself anyway.)

/everything but the kitchen sink

2011-02-19T13:54:00.018-05:00

i was looking for my lotion in my bag at work yesterday and i realized, as it took me twenty minutes to find it, that i have quite a collection of things in there that don’t really belong in there. i should probably take a minute to clean it out, but first i’m going to go through and list for you what’s in there. because i know you’re just dying to know.

here we go.

my gps. i’ve been using it recently because my internship is in hamden, which is 50 minutes away, and i feel like i need to have it in case i get lost. but i haven’t been to my internship in three days, so i’m not sure why it’s still in my bag.
a scarf. it’s been pretty warm out these past few days, which is why it’s in my bag and not around my neck, but that still doesn’t explain what it’s still doing in my bag.
a pair of gloves. if i don’t need a scarf, i certainly don’t need a pair of gloves. it’s just one of those “just in case” things. i always keep a pair in my bag in the winter.
a graphing calculator. i’m taking audience analysis, which involves a little bit of math, so i need a calculator. but i only need it for simple multiplication and division problems, so a calculator like the one on my phone would work. however, i insist on using a graphing calculator because i like the big screen and being able to see all the numbers. (nerd.) it has become one of those things that i permanently keep in my bag so i don’t forget it.
a bottle of cough medicine. okay, i haven’t been sick for about a week and a half now. why is this still in my bag?
a full bag of cough drops. i haven’t needed a cough drop since before i bought the cough medicine. WHY IS THIS STILL IN MY BAG?
a large wad of (clean) tissues. again, from when i was sick, in case i needed one. and, clearly, i didn’t.
a pair of socks. i honestly have no idea why i have an extra pair of socks in my bag.
an ipod charger. i have a few extra of these, so i keep one in my bag just in case i’m ever at school and i need to charge my ipod. ( although, this never happens.)
a mini calendar. my church hands these calendars that have a number of scriptures written in for each day so that, if you followed along and read them, you’d finish the whole bible in a year. they hand these out in like, december so that you can start in january. …and mine’s still sitting in my bag.
my name badge for youth group. corey left last week before i remembered to put it back in the bin, so it’s been floating around in my bag for a week.
youth group schedule printouts from the past five weeks. these just keep getting put into my bag and never get taken out.
an assortment of receipts and gum wrappers. multipurpose bag. it carries my things and also serves as a trash can.
and then there are things that can typically be found in my bag, but they’re not really necessary to carry around all the time. i just like to because what if i happen to need them? these are things like:

a mini flashlight.
a headband and a handful of bobby pins.
an extra set of earphones.
five or six pens, all different colors.
hand sanitizer.
deodorant.
lotion.
a small notebook that says “note to self” in the front.
makeup.
all of this, of course, in addition to the normal things people carry around like my wallet and keys and such.

and i wonder why my bag is always so heavy…

/i need to tell you a story.

2011-02-14T22:20:00.001-05:00

so yesterday, i told my mom the entire adam young/t swift story. the long version. and i explained to her why his valentine’s day song to her was the cutest thing ever. her response? “so are they dating now, or what?”

today, i’m sitting in the kitchen, catching up on tumblr and facebook and twitter (because what else should i be doing on valentine’s day?) when my mom gets home and notices that i haven’t unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher yet. of course, i sign onto twitter one last time before i go do that, and that’s when i notice owlcity’s tweet that says, “Dear Taylor: http://owlcityblog.com/”

so, naturally, i gasp obnoxiously loud, slap my hand over my mouth, and click on the link. it takes about an hour for the page to load and the whole time my mom’s going, “what? what’s the matter? what is it?” and i’m like, “wait! hang on! i’m trying to see what it is first!” but she’s not listening, so she keeps asking me what’s going on and the page isn’t loading, so i can’t even really tell her what i’m freaking out about.

but then the page finally loads and i speed-read the first few paragraphs and i gasp again, but this time i’m like, “OH MY GOSH HE WROTE TO HER AGAIN! AND HE WRITES ABOUT WHEN HE REALIZED THE SONG WAS ABOUT HIM!” and then my mom says, “oh. does that mean they’re dating now?” and i’m like, …why does she automatically jump to those conclusions? “no. it just means that he wrote a blog post to her.” and then she’s goes, “well you need to unload and reload the dishwasher.”

…but i ignore her because, HELLO, adam just wrote a blog post to t swift and i’m freaking out about it. so i’m like, “I NEED TO READ THIS RIGHT NOW. AND I NEED TO GO PLUG MY COMPUTER IN SO THAT IT DOESN’T DIE IN THE PROCESS.” and i run down the hall towards my bedroom and my mom yells to me, “no, you need to do the dishes first!”

so i sigh really loudly and plug my computer in and say, “i can’t believe you’re keeping me from this relationship!” (yes, i recognize how ridiculous i am. it’s actually kind of embarrassing that i’m admitting this on here.)

anyway, i run back down the hall and into the kitchen and unload and reload really fast and then i run back down the hall again and read the whole post like, three times. and, of course, the whole time i’m reading it i’m going, “AWWW.” and the part where he talks about how he listened to her whole cd while putting all the capital letters together? i was like, “I TOTALLY DO THAT!” (and, yes, i actually said that out loud to myself.)

and then i yelled for my mom to come in my room and listen to me read the blog to her so she could be updated on what’s going on. not that she really cares, but i wanted someone to talk to about it and listen to me say things like, “I TOTALLY DO THAT” and “HE IS SO ADORABLE” and actually respond back to me. once again, she asked, “so they’re not dating?”

no, they’re not dating. (although, they totally should.)

/i can't even explain what happened to me in the past two weeks.

2011-02-12T14:16:00.002-05:00

i was sick and miserable and it was like i couldn't function properly or think straight because i was sick and completely lacked the motivation to do absolutely anything and i spent all of my free time trying to remember a time before i was sick and being jealous of everyone around me who wasn't sick.

but i'm feeling much better and thank goodness for that. however, i'm not feeling well enough to write this post in paragraphs, so here's a top 10 list.

i'm thinking about making a top 10 list of things i hate most about being sick. the only thing that's stopping me is the fact that it's a bit negative i'm trying to be more optimistic. but making a top 10 list of things i love about being healthy just isn't as appealing to me.
i really like my internship. maybe i'll make a top 10 list of things i like about my internship so far.
i watched more episodes of doctor who last night and i just don't feel like i can express to you how much i love that show. ...maybe i could make a top 10 list? although, i feel like you really just have to watch it to see what i mean.
this top 10 list is unintentionally turning into a list of ideas for top 10 lists.
i don't mean for this to be so far down on my list here, but have you seen this post? i'm still blown away by the fact that he did that. i just love this little relationship they have going on.
gro is giving away out of my hands for FREE at www.freeGROmusic.com. do yourself a favor and go download it.
i love the fact that posting on my music blog is considered homework.
i haven't been able to watch my shows the past few weeks because i've had so much homework (combined with the fact that i've been sick) and it's sort of stressing me out to even think about how much tv i have to catch up on.
it's really sad that i actually allow myself to worry about things like number eight on this list.
i should really get out of bed and, you know, be productive today. because i can. because i'm not sick anymore.

/another snow day. ...ANOTHER one.

2011-01-27T20:56:00.001-05:00

i HATE snow. like, seriously. i can't even explain it. you're just going to have to take my word for it. but that one snow storm we had, you know, where it snowed two feet? that was kind of cool because it hasn't snowed that much in a looong time. but another two feet today? seriously? how do you expect me to drive when i can't see to turn any corners? or when the four-lane roads are only two lanes because there's no where to clear the snow to, thus causing a major traffic jam? i mean, come on. i am so not looking forward to driving around for the next six weeks. or however long it takes for it to melt.
with that said, i'm glad today was a snow day because i had so much homework that was supposed to be due today that i just did not have time to get done. (and, yes, i know i took a break to watch doctor who, but even if i hadn't, i still wouldn't have had time to finish it all.)
i think winter break may have been a little bit too long because i spent most of my day working on homework (see #2) and i only watched one episode of doctor who and no episodes of friday night lights and yet, i somehow feel like today was an unproductive day. i even woke up super early (8 a.m.), ran on the treadmill, and did a load of laundry. what's wrong with me?
speaking of doctor who, i watched the first two episodes of season 5 and can i just say that i LOVE matt smith? like, a lot more than i thought i would. (david tennant's still my favorite doctor though.) (for the record.)
also, this whole waiting for the season 5 discs to come in the mail, one at a time, is absolutely painful. especially since i couldn't send back disc one today because, i'm not even kidding, i couldn't find my mailbox (see #1). so now i'm going to have to wait even longer for disc two. UGH.
i worked on that blog i mentioned earlier. you know, the one for my multimedia class? i made a music blog. are you surprised?
my mom spent her entire day today working from home and i learned that i get my i-like-to-talk-to-myself-while-i-work thing from her. thanks for that, mom.
my dad spent his entire day snow blowing the driveway, going to work, coming home from work, and then snow blowing the driveway again. he's so hardworking, it's ridiculous.
i just remembered that my dad says they're predicting more snow for tuesday. WHAT.
t has strep throat, so say a prayer for her, would you? (i hope you feel better soon, t!)

/quick update.

2011-01-26T16:52:00.000-05:00

first, i just wanted to say that i started my internship at the space on monday and i looove it. i basically spent four hours putting tickets online, printing tickets, creating fb events for upcoming shows, laminating things, and double checking to make sure that the shows/artists that are on the space’s website match what’s on the ical. (which means they use macs there. which is amazing.) it doesn’t sound all that exciting, especially because it’s just office work, but i love it because it’s all music-related office work. and starting next week, i’ll be working at shows, so that will be even more exciting.

second, i had my first multimedia class last night and guess what we learned about? …BLOGGING. no joke. our first homework assignment is to post a blog. and, i’m not even kidding, we spent half the class going over how to set up a blogger account, watching tutorial youtube videos (that are out of date), and customizing our pages. how great is that? but we have to use blogger and we have to have a theme for our blogs. which means i can’t just keep doing what i do here because “my life” doesn’t qualify as a legit theme. but i’ll post more about what i decide to do with it later, after i get it started.

in the mean time, i need to go work on the million other things i have due tomorrow, which i need to make sure get done just in case we don’t have a snow day.

/i've just been thinking and not sleeping.

2011-01-23T01:20:00.001-05:00

i wasn’t going to post about this. if you recall, i wrote a post a few days ago talking about how much thinking i’ve been doing lately and i said, “i’m not going to get into the details here” and i listed a few (or just two) reasons why i didn’t want to. but i’ve been thinking some more and i changed my mind.

maybe someone will read this and it will help them with whatever they’re going through. or maybe someone will read this and think, “i could’ve told you that four months ago.” or maybe no one (other than t) will read this.

anyway, here it is. i hope it makes sense.

i’ve been thinking my purpose. i mean, i know i’m meant to be in nashville, but i’m not there yet; nashville’s still in my future. what i mean is, i’ve been thinking about what my purpose is for right now. because if i’m not in nashville yet, there must be a reason for that. right? most of the time i think that reason is that i haven’t graduated yet or that i don’t have the money to move to nashville yet. but let’s be honest. if God wanted me to be in nashville right now, i would be in nashville right now. so that means that God wants me to be in connecticut. …because that’s where i am. in connecticut. with a couple feet of snow on the ground and a couple more coming in a few days.

i’m still not sure why that’s what God wants, but i’ve been pretty good about being patient and waiting to find out. however, the longer i stay here, the more i feel like i shouldn’t be here. and some days, i feel like it’s my fault that i’m still here. like, what if i had prayed and listened for His answers before deciding on a college to go to? would i be in nashville already?

but i didn’t take that road. and since i didn’t, and i’m going to uha, i feel like i should at least be going to the hartt school because they have a performing arts management major there. but since i’m not, i should have made performing arts management my minor. but since i didn’t, i should at least be taking some music classes, like that one intro class you’re required to take before you can take any other classes. but i’m not because that class is only offered in the fall and i found out about it too late. i found out about all of this too late and, sometimes, if i’m being honest, i feel like it’s just too late. like i’ve made to many mistakes. and i feel like i should just be in nashville already because there’s no point in me being here, at the wrong school, in the wrong major, taking the wrong classes.

but it occurred to me that maybe there’s a reason for all of that. yes, i would probably be in a completely different place if i had just listened for His direction from the start, but since i didn’t, maybe there’s a reason why i found out about all of that music stuff too late. maybe i’m at the wrong school, in the wrong major, taking the wrong classes for a reason. maybe there’s someone there that i need to meet. or maybe i’m going to learn things there that i need to know that i wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

maybe it’s not too late. maybe it’s prefect timing and i just can’t see it yet.

/last first day of school.

2011-01-21T13:53:00.007-05:00

so yesterday was my LAST first day of school.

note: i will probably mention the fact that i’m graduating in may in every blog that i post from now until graduation day because one) i’m SO excited and two) it sort of doesn’t feel real, so i need to keep reminding myself that it is.

anyway, my first day went like this:

intro. to public relations/9:25 a.m.: my professor in this class reminds me of an english teacher i had in high school, who i loved, so i think i’m going to like this professor, which means i’m also going to like the class, even if i don’t have any interest whatsoever in pursuing a career in pr.

also, there was a cute guy in my class, but it turns out he was in the wrong class so he left. sad.

audience analysis/10:50 a.m.: i am going to hate this class. in fact, right after it ended, i went to the library and looked to see if there was another class i could switch into. unfortunately, there isn’t one, so i’m stuck with it. i’m not sure why i registered for it in the first place (although it was probably because there weren’t any other options), but it’s all about analyzing numbers and data that comes with research on a specific audience that an ad agency is trying to target. basically, it’s an advertising class. and i hateadvertising. should i remind you that i got a b+ in my intro. to advertising class last semester? i’ll probably take this class pass/fail because that way i won’t have to put a lot of effort in and a low grade won’t affect my gpa.

break: there are no classes scheduled between 12:05 and 1:30. i think they refer to this time period as “happy hour,” although i’m not quite sure because i don’t live there so i don’t speak their language. (not to mention the fact that it’s not an hour long.) but it’s just like how i hear people talk about how they went to a party in the “fives,” which i can only assume is somewhere in the village, but that doesn’t help me out because i still don’t know where the village is.

anyway, i bought some of my books during “happy hour,” along with everyone else on campus, and i would just like to say that students at uha really need to develop a sense of personal space. i mean, seriously. standing in line at a college bookstore should not be equivalent to standing in line at a merch table, where the people behind you stand so close to you that you can feel them breathing down your neck. are they that worried about someone cutting them in line?

conflict & communication/2:05 p.m.: the professor in this class is the same professor i had for comm. theory last semester. had i known this, i would not have registered for the class. and that’s all i have to say about that.

although, he did give me an a, so perhaps it won’t be that bad.

media & society/3:30 p.m.: this is the only class i’m taking this semester because it’s required. it’s also the only class i’m taking this semester that i’m actually going to like, based on the material we’ll be covering. but don’t get too excited for me just yet because the professor has the ability to make or break the class. and the professor in this class was also my journalism professor last spring and i’m not really a big fan of hers for a lot of reasons, but mainly because she gave me a b+. but we’ll see how it goes.

on a brighter note, there was this guy in my creative writing class (back when i was a creative writing major) who was so cute and i always thought it was too bad that i had to drop that class (even though i absolutely hated it) because i probably wouldn’t ever see him again because he was a creative writing major and i wasn’t going to be anymore. but guess what? he’s a comm. major now and he’s in my media & society class.

best part of my day right there.

conclusion: i still have one more class that i haven’t been to yet and it’s on tuesdays and only once a week. but i can pretty much say right now that this semester is full of random comm. classes that i’m only taking because i need credits and they fit in my schedule, so it’s going to be an incredibly long and annoying semester.

however, there are three things that will make this semester bearable:
the cutie in my media & society class.
my internship.
my spring break trip to nash.

/i just really needed a break.

2011-01-19T19:05:00.006-05:00

from everything.

i mean, everything. at first, i thought i just needed a break from school. last semester was the most stressful semester i've had and i quickly realized that i was going to need more than two weeks to recover, so i dropped the winter term class i had registered for (and ended up saving $1500 plus however much money in gas i would've spent driving to and from school every day). but i didn't want to be entirely unproductive over break, so i made myself a to do list, hoping that it would motivate me to get things done and not just sit around all day watching tv.

well, here’s the thing with that. classes start tomorrow and i haven’t looked at that list since the day i made it. in fact, i think i lost it. and i ended up doing exactly what i didn’t want to do. which is, like i said, sit around all day and watch tv. (i worked a few hours, but i mean other than that.) literally though. i watched four seasons of doctor who and two seasons of friday night lights. in three weeks. that’s kind of embarrassing.

but i got a lot of thinking done. which sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it was actually kind of exactly what i needed. i didn’t just need a break from school, it turns out, i needed a break from everything. i needed to stop and think for a minute. and if i had spent my entire break crossing things off a to-do list, i wouldn’t have had time to really think.

i’m not going to get into the details here because one) some of it’s too personal for the internet and two) trying to explain my thought process in a way that made sense to other people is pretty much impossible. so i’ll just say that it was nice to have a few weeks to do absolutely nothing but think about my life and where i’m going.

especially since i’ll be graduating in may and i probably won’t ever have that luxury again.

/it's wednesday.

2011-01-05T21:27:00.002-05:00

being on break is really messing me up. i keep forgetting what day of the week it is. and my sleep schedule? it basically look like this: i go to bed super late because i'm not tired and either on tumblr or watching doctor who, and then i wake up super early for work. (and, of course, by "super early," i mean 8 a.m.)

however, i'm not complaining because i was supposed to be taking a winter term class, but i dropped it because i desperately needed a break after last semester. ..can you imagine how miserable i'd be right now if i had to go to school every day? i can't even think of it.

but here's something i can't stop thinking of:

i met him today and it was love at first sight. unfortunately, my mom is not on board with the whole let's-get-another-dog thing, so i'm feeling a little bit heart broken tonight. (no, that's not sarcasm.)

in other news, it's 2011. i was going to write a little something about that.. like, recap last year or post my list of resolutions for this year. something like that. but i'm not going to because all i can think of to say about last year is "holy cow where did those twelve months go?" and this is the first year that i actually wrote a list of legit new year's resolutions (last year's list was more like a joke) and i'm not ready to post them on here in the event that i fail miserably. i don't want all four of my readers thinking poorly of me.

ps. i'm also just going to ignore the fact that i went three whole weeks without posting anything.

// five awesome things about today.

2010-12-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

i got to sleep in until nine.
i met with the guy from the space, where i will be interning next semester, and i am so going to LOVE working there.
i went Christmas shopping, one of my most favorite things to do.
i'm almost done with my shopping AND what i have done is already wrapped.
i'm seeing caits tonight. and possibly corey too.

ps. i have red hair.

every time josh walks by me, he looks at me for a minute and then says, "...ginger."

he's jealous.

// this was my life today.

2010-12-07T22:38:00.001-05:00

i woke up at four. not unusual. during the semester, i rarely get a good night's sleep and waking up every hour isn't uncommon. but i usually manage to fall back asleep. today, however...

good morning, sarah. at five a.m.

i got up and ate a bagel, printed out presentation slides, and cuddled back in bed and watched tv before i had to get in the shower.

fun fact: mtv still plays music videos, but you have to watch at six a.m. to see them.

i went to my first class, which was a breeze, as always.

i went to advertising and stood next to my group as they presented our starbucks project. you see, i basically did the entire project and my professor said that not everyone has to present as long as everyone put in a lot of work. i clearly put in my share, so i let them do the talking.

i went to a record label meeting (the on-campus record label) during lunch and we talked about what we'll be doing next semester and how we can be more organized and productive. there was also some talk about making it a class to help keep things in order. i hope there's some action behind all of that talk because i really need that section on my resume to look good. ..just saying.

i went to the bookstore and sold back two of my books during my break.

i sat in the library for the rest of my break and used my phone to go online because sweets was running low on battery power and i knew he wouldn't make it through the day, so i left him at home.

i got together with my group for research methods because we didn't have class today and we worked on our paper.

i hate group work.

i went to comm theory and my group presented our project on the hacker ethic.

i hung out with leah until she had to go to class at 5:30.

i got some wendy's and went over to t's for a little bit.

i came home.

it's just past 10 now and i have no idea how i'm still awake right now.

// and the countdown to Christmas begins!

2010-12-01T15:46:00.001-05:00

i'm incapable of formulating paragraphs with transitions and everything, so here's what's going on, in bullets:

i overslept by forty minutes this morning. after jumping out of bed and rushing around to get ready, i made it to work, only to find out that my mom/boss forgot to tell me last night that i could stay home today and sleep because i haven't been getting much of it lately. and stress headaches are taking over my life. such a great boss, but a little forgetful sometimes.
it's disgustingly rainy and windy out today, and the perfect kind of day for crawling back into bed and staying there. for those who don't have that luxury, it's the perfect kind of day for crazy, frizzy, not-quite-curly, not-quite straight hair.
when i took bailey out to pee when i got home from work, i turned around to face the house so that no wind or water would blow in my face. when i turned back around to see if he was done yet, i realized he was standing next to me and probably never even made it as far as the grass. he doesn't like the wind or the rain.
i finished my Christmas playlist for this year! i'm very excited about it. it's a mixture of music from last year's list, music that didn't get released soon enough to make it onto last year's list, music from my friends who bought it and shared it with me, music from noisetrade, and music from e-mail newsletters that included free downloads. it looks like this:

like last year, i'll be posting one song every day until Christmas on somedaysarah.com so you can listen to them all.
TWENTY FOUR DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

// how to watch the thanksgiving day road race.

2010-11-26T11:49:00.000-05:00

wake up super early and make sure that you park your truck in a prime watching spot so that you can save your spot for when you come back when the race starts and so that you can have a place to sit while watching. (thankfully the leamy's have this system all worked out nicely.)
dress appropriately for the weather. make sure your outfit includes multiple layers and multiple pairs of socks, a hat, mittens or gloves, and a scarf. note: this is one of these times where you may need to sacrifice fashion for warmth.
bring blankets.
make sure that as you watch, you're looking up the street a little bit. trying to look at all the runners going by right in front of you will make you dizzy.
clap and cheer for the runners so that they feel encouraged to keep going. if you eventually get tired of clapping or cheering, it's okay to take a little break, but remember that it's the least you can do since you're not running.
take pictures of the runners who have neat costumes.
yell for the people you know personally and make sure you use last names, otherwise they won't hear you or realize you're yelling to them.

also, a little something i like to do for fun while i watch is point out all the reasons why i like watching more than i would like running. but that's a post for another day.

i hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving!

// things i am thankful for: day three.

2010-11-24T17:30:00.001-05:00

music.

compared to the past two days, this seems kind of ridiculous, but i think it needs to be said. maybe i should've started with this one and worked my way up, but i wanted to start with what was at the top of my list, the most important thing, and work backwards. so here we go. day three.

i'm thankful for music. why? because it is inspiring, it gives me motivation when i'm on the treadmill at the gym, it keeps me company when i'm at school for eleven hours but only in class for three (true story), it makes me think about things or daydream about the future, it fills the silence, it helps me fall asleep at night, and sometimes, it says the words that i can't find or that i don't have the courage to say out loud.

to me, music is not something that's meant to be enjoyed every once in a while. it's something that's a part of my everyday life. it's when i turn to when i don't know what else to do. and i know that sounds wrong, like that's what prayer's for, right? but what happens when you can't find the words to pray?

i listen to music.

current favorites:

andrew ripp. ben rector. brendan james. the fray. green river ordinance. hillsong united. jack's mannequin. mat kearney. needtobreathe. owl city. phil wickham. the script. steve moakler. taylor swift. tenth avenue north.

// things i am thankful for: day two.

2010-11-23T10:21:00.000-05:00

my parents. my siblings. my best friends.

on my birthday this year, everyone who was sitting at the dinner table took turns telling me their favorite things about me. it was overwhelming. there i was, sitting in a room surrounded by my favorite people, the people who i love the most, listening to them tell me how much they love me. i wanted to cry (because i can be emotional like that) and i wanted to tell them things back. i wanted to tell them my favorite things about them and how thankful i am that they are a part of my life. i wanted to tell them how glad i was that they were with me on my birthday and how special they are to me.

but i didn't say any of that though. i was too focused on listening to the things they were saying and taking it all in without actually crying. (because being that emotional is one thing, but being that emotional in from of other people is a whole other thing.)

then, a week after my birthday, they threw me a surprise party. and i got that same overwhelming feeling. but things like that are awkward to say out loud, at least for me it is, and it always comes out sounding cliché or cheesy and not exactly what i want to say. i'm much better on paper. so here it is:

to my mom, to my dad, to heather, to tiffany, to josh, to lee, to my best friends (who know who they are): i'm so thankful that you're a part of my life. thank you for being there for me, for supporting me, for making me laugh, for letting me cry on your shoulder, for making me feel better, for staying up late and helping me focus on getting my homework done, for your hugs, for knowing what i'm thinking without me having to say it out loud, for those five hour-long conversations in starbucks and those conversations in the car, for praying for me and with me, for being excited for me, for caring about me. for all of it.

i love you.

// things i am thankful for: day one.

2010-11-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

the cross. salvation. amazing grace. unconditional love. forgiveness.

it's completely overwhelming to try to understand what these things mean and comprehend the fact that they are mine, despite the fact that i am so unworthy. i know the things i've done, the things i've said, the things i've thought about.. i know exactly how sinful and undeserving i am. and so does He, my all-knowing, all-powerful, ever-present Savior. He created me. He not only knows the things i've already said and done and thought about, but He knows the things i have yet to say and do and think. nothing will ever come as a surprise to Him.

and despite all of that, despite my unworthiness, He loves me. He forgives me. He saves me. He carries me. and when i fall, again and again, He picks me up. He provides all of my needs.

there are no words to describe what that feels like, how amazing it is, or how thankful i am that i have all of that. i will forever be thankful for His love and mercy and grace.

// ntb & gro.

2010-11-14T00:35:00.000-05:00

disclaimer: this post is super long, so if you don't know (or care) about needtobreathe and/or green river ordinance, then don't waste your time. if you do, then you'll enjoy my stories.

let me just start with some background info: needtobreathe announced their "young and far from home" tour, including a boston (house of blues) show, a few months ago and i (naturally) felt the need to get tickets. ..on the day they went on presale. i'm one of those fans. are you surprised? i like to be online, purchasing my tickets within the hour that they go on sale, otherwise i'll lose sleep over the fact that it might sell out or i might not get a good seat. anyway, money's been pretty tight lately because, you know, weddings have the tendency to drain your bank account and, even though it had been a few months by the time tickets went on sale, i wasn't really in a position to be spending any money on concert tickets. so i had a problem. technically, i could afford to buy a ticket, but should i? i'm pretty sure i made a pro/con list because i really felt like i needed to go. but was that only because i'm a borderline concert addict? i wasn't sure. so i talked it over with my mom, who is always super skeptical about the amount of money i have and how much i spend on concerts, and she said that if i felt like i needed to go, then i should go.

so, after a lot of consideration, i bought a ticket.

and then green river ordinance announced their tour dates and, since they were scheduled to play in boston on the same night as ntb, it worked out that they would also play at the house of blues.

ntb and gro? i knew there was a reason i needed to be at this show.

well, last saturday was the big day, so arielle, leah, and i made our way up to boston. we got there a little early, so we got an appetizer and waited for the box office to open. this turned out to be a not so great idea, considering the fact that we didn't have that much time to kill and leah and i kept worrying about our spot in line and what happens if we don't get to stand as close to the stage as we would like. it ended up working out fine, just as rel said it would. she was completely calm about the whole thing. she doesn't obsess over things like that like leah and i do. but what we didn't plan for was what happens if one of our names isn't on the meet & greet list. more specifically, what if my name isn't on the meet & greet list? because it wasn't, even though i paid for it. and the girl at the window was no help because all she said was, "well i got this list directly from the band." as if she works for "the band" and not just the house of blues. i doubt she even knows their names.

anyway, fortunately, seth and tyler (their tour manager?) got off the bus right as we were discussing what we should do. now, i say that casually like it was no big deal, but honestly? i gasped a little bit (or a lot) when i saw seth get off the bus. because that's just what happens. he's that beautiful. but anyway, back to the story. i went over to them and asked tyler (not knowing who he was at this point) if he'd be able to help me out. and he did. i got my meet & greet wristband and all was right in the world again. plus i got to see seth.

the meet & greet went fantastically, which is to be expected. (and we got our spots right in front on seth's side of the stage.) we mostly talked to bo and seth, but we did say hi to joe too. they pretty much told us about their tour in europe and the things they bought there. seth got this sweet leather jacket, which he was wearing, and we got to touch it because he wanted us to see how thin it is. (i think we all died a little bit inside at that moment.) bo talked about the european fans and how excited they were that ntb toured over there. seth talked in his wonderful accented voice about how he's not really a big fan of scarves. i guess this girl made them all scarves and he wore his when she gave it to him and in their pictures and stuff, but he took it off when he was talking to us. he also told us he has a secret he can't tell anyone and it's the hardest secret he's ever had to keep, all while flashing that brilliant smile of his. probably because he was so excited about it and because he knew we were dying to know what it was. we tried to get him to tell us what it was, but he wouldn't. (because why would he? but we thought we'd try anyway.) we took quick pictures with him and then he went to go talk to the girls standing next to us.

so we were looking at the pictures we took with him and we noticed that he alternated showing his teeth in them and we wondered why he would do that because he has such great teeth, like really amazingly beautiful teeth, and he needs to show them off. and, in the mean time, he was supposed to be talking to those girls next to us, but apparently he was still listening to our conversation about his teeth and so he looks over at us and laughs and asks what's wrong with the pictures. so we try to explain why we love when he shows his teeth in pictures without making it seem like we don't like his non-teeth pictures. it was pretty hilarious, but also slightly embarrassing at the same time because he was not supposed to be listening to that conversation.

now, by this time, it's almost time for them to go, so we take group pictures and on their way out, the girls next to us pull seth aside and ask him to take a quick picture with them (because they ran out of time before thanks to our obnoxious teeth conversation) and as they do that, i remind him to make sure he shows his teeth when he smiles. and then he laughs and whips me with his scarf and then goes backstage. (best moment of the night. i almost died.)

the daylights played first, then gro (who i got super excited for as if they're my real-life friends and not just a band i see on tour), and then ntb played. they are all amazing. it was such a great show.

gro sang "this little light of mine" and i realized it was possible to love them more than i already had. and, with the position of the drums and where we were standing, we actually got to see denton's face this time! normally, he's hidden behind the drums and everyone else on stage.

so, like i said before, we got our spots in front on seth's side of the stage. but we (meaning leah and i, of course) always get worried that seth and bo will change sides of the stage randomly. but they never do and we're always on seth's side, which means that i always end up with an embarrassing number of photos of him. but mostly because he's right in front of us and pictures always come out dark if you're too far away. it might also have something to do with the fact that seth is gorgeous and i just want to capture it so i can take it home and never forget how attractive he looks when he sings or moves his hips during girl named tennessee, but you know. you can think what you want.

anyway. moving on. ntb played two new songs, which i've posted here and here. and the second one is my new favorite and has been playing on repeat in my head since last saturday night when i first heard it.

the show got over earlier than usual and gro tweeted about a secret show on the sidewalk outside the green monster. (because fenway is right across the street from the house of blues.) so we made our way through the merch line, talked to a couple of the guys from the daylights, and then we went outside to find denton and the rest of gro to say hi.

(side note: leah and i have been to four gro shows in the past year and we've talked to denton, their drummer, every time. we've pretty much reached bff status at this point. ..except like, seriously.)

once he saw us, he came right over and gave us hugs and we chatted until he had to go play their mini sidewalk after show, which was wonderful. i recorded "where the west wind blows," but i won't be posting it because one) it's dark and although you can hear it, you can't really see anything, and two) some guy yells the f-word at the beginning and i don't know how (or if i can) edit it out. after they played, we talked to denton some more and we got on the subject of my future plans in nashville and he told me that their manager is in nashville and he does internships and programs and stuff like that so i should let him know when i go down there because he'll hook me up.

i'm sorry. how amazing is that? like, seriously. the night just kept getting better and better. arielle, leah, and i basically spent the rest of the night having the following conversation, over and over:

rel: "wow. that was so amazing."

leah: "yeah, i can't even believe it. like..."

me: "like, seriously. best night ever. i can't even..."

i just kept thinking about nashville and how i have a legit connection there. and that's when i realized that that is the reason i needed to be at that show.

// surprise party!

2010-11-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

there were so many things i could've picked up on. like how the first thing my mom said to me when she got home on wednesday was "can you just hop off the highway tomorrow and get me my hair product?" or how she kept asking, "so are you going to do that for me? you won't forget?" and she still texted me while i was at school on thursday to ask if i remembered. or how she texted me again and asked me to call her when i got to the mall because she may need something else. like she wouldn't know if she needed anything else until i was at the mall? was she planning on making an impulse buy without actually being in the store?

i should've known when she sent me to big y to buy t a whoopie pie and then when she texted me to see if i had left the mall already because she "forgot" she needed something else. she paused before saying, "i really need to just get over to the mall myself." and i remember thinking, well isn't that the understatement of the year. how many more things did she suddenly remember she needed to have?

but i didn't really think about any of these things for too long and i'm glad i didn't. because i love surprises. and i've never had a surprise party before and it wouldn't have been as wonderful if i had figured it out.

here's something no one knows: my day on thursday was actually pretty terrible. the beginning of the week was great, but on thursday, it felt like one thing after another was being piled on to my to-do list. and by the end of the day, i felt like i needed a nap because i was so overwhelmed with it all. coming home to a house full of my favorite people was just what i needed. the rest of the night was so much fun and such a nice reminder that life isn't all about being stressed out about school, as i often forget.

seriously though. this birthday has definitely been the best one i've ever had and my surprise party just made it that much better. i can't even explain how great it was and how special i felt. so thank you to anyone who was apart of it. you are amazing.

// i'm going to nashville!

2010-11-03T20:35:00.000-04:00

pretty soon i'm going to post a blog called "i'm moving to nashville!" but, for now, i'm just going to nashville. why? because i'm still in school. because even if i wasn't in school, i don't have enough money to move right now. and because i plan on living there sometime after i graduate and logic, along with various other people, tell me i should visit at least once before i move to a city i've never even set foot in.

anyway. it occurred to me yesterday when i posted a countdown about it that i probably haven't written much, or anything at all, about nashville. so i should probably do that.

you see, back in november or december, when i was going through that major life crisis called "i have no idea what i want to be when i grow up and i also just wasted thousands of dollars because i picked the wrong major," i made the decision to pursue my love of music and head in towards a career in the music industry.

you may or may not remember, but i decided to major in communications and load up on classes so that i could still graduate on time. (i believe i have now mentioned two or three times that i will be graduating in may, but for my excitement's sake, i'll say it again. I'M GRADUATING IN MAY!) (and may can't come soon enough, let me tell you.)

and you may or may not remember, but i spent my entire semester off praying and crying and praying some more about it, so i'm feeling pretty confident that music (management – or something of the sort) is what i'm supposed to be doing. (i'm not really sure why i was ever okay with the idea of making such a huge decision all by myself.... but that's besides the point.)

now here's the part i never wrote about: somehow, along the way, the love i had for new york turned into a love for nashville.

of course, the obvious difference there is the fact that i have actually been to new york.

but it's weird because when i decided (or realized, i should say) that my dream job is to work in an a&r department of a record label, and i saw that the only three cities that had jobs like that were los angeles, new york, and nashville, i suddenly felt the need to live in nashville. even though i loved new york and it was included as one of the three options, i remember thinking, i could live in nashville...

now, you'd think that since i'd just wasted so much time and money because i neglected to listen to God's directions that i wouldn't be so stubborn about the fact that i wanted to live in new york and not nashville. but i was. because why would God let me love new york as much as i did if He didn't want me to live there? why would i grow up and spend twenty years of my life dreaming about new york if i was meant to live in nashville?

so i started praying about it and i asked God these things. i also asked Him to let me love new york less if i wasn't meant to live there. i told Him that i just wanted to do what He wanted me to, even if it didn't make any sense to me. (which it didn't. at all. for the record.) it was your classic not-my-will-but-Yours kind of thing. something i'd heard my entire life, but was just learning all over again like it was the first time.

eventually, it happened that i loved new york less and nashville more. (despite the fact that i've never even been there.) and it was so subtle that i only realized a few weeks ago that i couldn't care less about living in new york. i just want to live in nash.

so that's where i'm at. i'm going to visit nashville because i love it and because i want to live there. and my parents, who are incredibly wonderful, got me a nash-spring break trip for my birthday.

and that's why this birthday was the best one i think i've ever had. because i got nashville for my birthday.

i'm going to nashville!

// not a normal tuesday.

2010-11-02T19:22:00.003-04:00

the good news is i don't have comm. theory on tuesdays anymore. the bad news is i still have radio. so that leaves a comfortable four hours for me to do ...what, exactly?

oh, yeah. homework.

and today, i had an exam in research methods. so tack an extra hour onto that and you have my life right now.

on a normal tuesday, i would be thrilled with this amount of free time. but this week happens to be the one week that i have the least amount of homework i have ever had in my entire life, so i'm struggling to find things to do to pass the time.

and this is where the blog comes in to play. except for the fact that i have nothing to say that i haven't already said before. but for the sake of having still another half an hour to kill, here's what i'm thinking about:

seven weeks until winter break.
five months until nashville.
seven months until graduation.

i'm not kidding when i say that this is what i spend all of my free time thinking about. it's so close and so not at the same time. it kills me! i just can't wait to be done.

// twenty one.

2010-10-29T18:20:00.000-04:00

you know how, on your birthday, people always ask, "how does it feel to be [insert whatever age you're turning here]?!" and you want to look at that person and say, "do you feel any older than you felt yesterday?" because everyone knows that just because the day may be marking another entire year of your life, it doesn't mean that everything about being that age hits you all at once. you have to give it a few months to get used to it.

well, it's been a couple years now and i'm still not used to it. i've turned 19, 20, and now 21, but i still feel like i'm 18. and that means i also think of everyone around me as if they're still the age they were when i was 18. for example, if i'm still 18, josh is still 20, t is still 22, and heather is still 25. i'm not even kidding.

but seriously. when i meet someone who is in their early twenties, i always think they're years older than me, just like when i meet someone who is 18, i think they're my age. when i fill out a form for school or the doctor and it asks how old i am, i naturally want to write, "18." when i sit in youth group as a leader, i have trouble remembering that i'm not there as a student.

so when people tell me that they can't believe i'm 21, i want to tell them to join the club because i can't believe it either.

no, but seriously. how am i already twenty one?

// top 10 things i am looking forward to.

2010-10-22T12:30:00.001-04:00

sleeping in tomorrow.
t swift's new cd, which comes out on monday.
MY BIRTHDAY on thursday.
steve moakler on november 3.
needtobreathe & green river ordinance on november 6.
birthdays on november 19, 20, & 28.
the end of the semester, which is eight weeks from now.
Christmas. and everything that comes with it.
spring break in nashville.
graduation in may.

// one less reason.

2010-10-19T23:12:00.002-04:00

remember my lengthy list of reasons why this week's not a good week for me to be sick? i do. well anyway, one of those reasons was the fact that i had a take-home exam due on thursday. however, the due date got pushed back until tuesday. thank goodness!

here's what happened.

so this girl in the back raises her hand in class today and says, "i'm going to speak for myself here, except i'm pretty sure that everyone in the class would agree with me, and i just want to say that i'd really appreciate it if the test wasn't due until tuesday."

and then my professor says, "tuesday? what's tuesday?"

everyone in the class: "the 26th."

and the girl in the back says, "yeah, because we handed in the last exam and you gave us this one and–"

and my professor just says, "yeah okay."

just like that. the exam is due next week and i have one less thing to stress out about this week.

// twelve reasons why.

2010-10-18T14:16:00.000-04:00

i woke up this morning with a massive headache, a stuffy and nonstop runny nose, a stomachache, and an all around whole-body kind of ache. which is very unfortunate that this is the way i'm starting out my week. here's why:

i have class tonight, which i can't miss because there's a paper due next week that he hasn't told us about yet. and also because i'd have to track down the movie and watch it by myself.
i have a paper due in interpersonal comm. tomorrow. and she doesn't take e-mailed anything.
we're also probably having a reading quiz in that same class.
i have a bleeding hartt (record label) meeting tomorrow, which i can't miss because i have information that they need.
i have an assignment due for research methods tomorrow. and it's that same teacher who doesn't take e-mailed work.
we are also having a quiz in that class tomorrow.
i have a quiz in my radio class as well.
we will probably have another reading quiz in interpersonal comm. on thursday.
i have an advertising test on thursday.
i have a chs/lpe (honor society) meeting on thursday, which i can't miss because if you miss meetings, you're kicked out.
i have a deadline for my research methods research project on thursday.
i have a take-home exam for comm. theory due on thursday.

and that's my life this week. i seriously hope i'm not sick for all of it.

please pray for me.

// it never ends. except it does.

2010-10-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

tGif. ..seriously. i was ready for the weekend on like, tuesday.

although i'm not sure how much of a weekend i'll be having due to the crazy amounts of homework i have to do. i feel like every week, i think about how i have such a heavy load this week and i just need to get through it because next week won't be as bad. but then the week goes on and, you know, my professors have this funny way of adding things to my to do list like it's their job or something. and by the time the weekend comes around, i'm counting all the things that need to be done in such a short amount of time.

today i realized that this has become a pattern and that i think i just have a heavy load this week about pretty much every week. and then i was thinking about how this semester is just a ton of work and so stressful. much more than all the others, definitely.

but then i realized that i think that about every semester.

but honestly? compared to all the others, this one's not quite as bad. the reason? i have no labs. and i try to remind myself of that every once in a while so i don't feel as bad. but it doesn't really work because even though this semester isn't the worst, it still has it's own set of challenges. and it's also the one i'm in the middle of right now.

and now i'm wondering what next semester's going to be like, but i'm not worrying about it too much because it will be my last semester. woo! there is an end in sight!

// oh, you know.

2010-10-06T20:49:00.002-04:00

this week, unlike last week, is going by super slow. i keep thinking today's friday, and then i remember it's not. it's only wednesday. i wish it was friday. i could really use a nap. and a weekend.

actually, a vacation would be really nice right about now. i'm really sick of this forks weather.

speaking of which. i got into a car accident last friday night because it was raining and i was driving too fast for the road conditions. except i'm pretty sure that three miles per hour would still have been "too fast for the road conditions." because that's about what i was going. but whatever. the point is, my car didn't stop when i hit the breaks. it didn't even slow down.

no one got hurt and the cars are fine. i didn't hit that hard, but apparently it was hard enough because something broke and caused it to not start. so the accident wasn't a huge thing when it happened, but it sort of turned into one because we had to wait for a tow truck and since it was friday night, i had to go the whole weekend without a car. and then monday came and my mom, josh, and i had to work it out so that we all got where we needed to be with only one car between the three of us..

car accidents are just so entirely inconvenient. but my car is fixed now so all's good.

except for the fact that i can't hit the breaks without worrying that my car won't stop.

// happy october.

2010-10-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

oh hey, it's friday. and october. i'm not really sure where this week (or the month of september) went. but anyway, happy october! my birthday is in twenty seven days. and i'm pretty excited about it.

in other news, i got my new phone today. finally. i got the ally, because i know you're wondering. and it's this, because i know you're thinking about how you've never heard of it. i like it because it's not a walkie talkie, but honestly, i have no idea how to use it. it's definitely going to take some getting used to.

texting is about the only thing i know how to do on this phone, and it takes me approximately five minutes to send one message. none of my other phones had a full keypad, or an autocorrect feature that automatically changes the words you type to the words it thinks you mean. it's quite interesting.

also, my mom called me earlier when i was watching a movie and i didn't realize my phone was ringing, i thought it was just the surround sound. and when i finally saw that my phone was ringing, i couldn't figure out how to answer it.

it sort of makes me feel old when i realize i'm having trouble figuring out how to use a smart phone. i mean, don't older people stereotypically have trouble with using new technology?

but then i remember that both of my parents have (and know how to use) a blackberry.

// jersey shore can totally be educational.

2010-09-23T22:51:00.001-04:00

i don't watch jersey shore. i've never seen an episode, and although i would recognize their names (and by that i mean their nicknames) if they were brought up in conversation, i'm not sure if i could point them out in a crowd. call me crazy, but i just don't see what's so appealing about a bunch of non-italians partying ~~on the jersey shore~~ in miami. but whatever.

today, i realized that it would probably be beneficial for me to watch a few episodes because, i'm not even kidding, the majority of my class discussions revolve around that tv show. literally. there's always at least one person who will relate something we're learning about to something they've seen on an episode of jersey shore. and when that person speaks up, suddenly everyone has something to say. because they all watch it.

for example, the other day we were talking about relationships between people who are in the same social network and how that affects their relationship, and this girl brought up sammy and ronnie from jersey shore. apparently, they're together but he always goes out and hooks up with other girls and they rest of them have tried to tell her but she doesn't believe them because she's still with him. or something like that. i don't really know what the situation is (no pun intended) because, like i said, i don't watch it, but we spent a good twenty minutes of class time talking about how their social network impacts their relationship.

today, it was brought up again in my advertising class because, apparently, brands are giving snooki their competitor's bags so that their image won't be damaged by the fact that she's being seen with their bags. (it's called "unbranding," for those of you who are curious. you should google it.)

anyway, while we were discussing snooki, this girl in my class mentioned that she went to high school with (and practically grew up with) snooki. apparently, snooki in real life is even more annoying than the snooki you see on tv. and the fame hasn't really changed her because she's always been that way. i guess she used to always talk about how she would become famous and be on the real world or something.

seriously. if all of that doesn't make a person want to watch jersey shore, then i don't know what does.

// a little bit of this and that.

2010-09-21T23:01:00.002-04:00

it's about time i start posting again. you think? last week was a rough week. i'm not sure what happened. not a lot was written, except what was needed for school. i need to not let that happen again.

side note: i just noticed that bailey was hiding out underneath my desk. why he chose to lay there when he has my entire bed to sprawl out on is beyond me. but i moved him because he looked too uncomfortable under there. now he's on my bed, cuddling with my blankey. ...yes, i still have a blankey. no, i cannot sleep without it. okay?

anyway. school's been pretty good. i like my classes. i love my major. it's my last year. i can't complain.

i also can't believe it's actually my last year, and that in eight months i will be graduating and done with school completely. and, apparently, neither can anyone else because every time someone asks me what year i'm in or how many i have left, they say, "oh wow!" like they can't believe that kids these days are actually growing up. but i can't really blame them.

i can't believe i'm growing up either.

// bree tanner.

2010-09-10T13:43:00.001-04:00

i went to target last week because i needed makeup or gum or razor heads or something like that, and i ended up walking out with a little something extra, called the short second life of bree tanner. you know, the story about that vampire girl from eclipse? by stephenie meyer?

i know, i know. but it was only a matter of time before i caved in and bought it.

in case you didn't already know, i'm a big fan of stephenie meyer. which also means, i'm a big fan of the twilight series. although i don't really like to talk about it much because one) there are so many over-the-top fans out there who make the rest of us look bad. and two) the movies make the books look bad. i just really enjoy her writing style, and i love the way everything fits together. if you read twilight and (what she's written so far of) midnight sun, you'll know what i mean. i love the whole same-story, different-perspective thing.

the short second life of bree tanner is just that. the same story, but told from another perspective. i wouldn't say that i particularly recommend it, but it's nice for those, like me, who like knowing extra, behind-the-scenes details.

two things to note about the short second life:

one) it's sad. if you've read eclipse, or even seen the (poorly made) movie version, you already know that bree's story does not end well. and after reading this book, you find out exactly why it's so sad.

two) it's short. i know sometimes less is more, and that could probably be applied to this situation as well, but i read it in less than a day and i just feel like there could've been more.

or maybe i'm just used to reading books by stephenie meyer that are at least 500 pages.

// my love.

2010-09-07T22:38:00.000-04:00

once upon a time, i took a digital photography class because, well, who wouldn't want to take a class where your only homework assignment is to take a bunch of pictures, pictures which you will spend two hours of class time editing in photoshop? anyway, i learned two things from my photography class.

one) i am not a photographer. (actually, taking the class just confirmed what i already believed to be true. but whatever.)

two) i needed a mac in my life. for serious.

you see, i grew up using a pc. i knew about macs, but i'd never used one, so all i knew about them was that they were different and you either loved them or hated them. i'd always just assumed that i'd hate them. until i took that photography class and had to spend three hours every tuesday and thursday using one.

unfortunately, i had just bought a new computer a few months before i took the class, so i wasn't in any position to go out and buy another one. i just had to wait.

and wait. and wait. and wait.

and yesterday, my wait was finally over.

that's right. i bought my very first macbook pro yesterday. and let me tell you. i am in loooove.

seriously. it's so beautiful. and the keys are so smooth. and it has a webcam so i can ichat, or skype, or even video blog! not that i'd actually make a vlog, but it's nice to have the option. you know?

anyway, i haven't figured out a name for him yet, so for now i'm just referring to him as my love. because literally.

i. am. in. love.

// wait, what?

2010-09-03T13:44:00.000-04:00

so i met with my advisor yesterday to go over this degree evaluation that my school sent me in the mail a few weeks ago. i don't think either one of us really knew why we had to meet, but the letter i got told me it was necessary. so we talked and he double checked my credits and made sure i was taking the right classes and such.

and then he noticed something odd.

my advisor: "you're taking media now, aren't you? you're in my class."

me: "yeah."

my advisor: "then how come you already have a grade for it?"

me: "...what?"

my advisor: "it says you got an a-. did you take this class before?"

yeah. once upon a time, i took a class at mcc called into to mass communication. and then when i transferred my credits to uha, it became intro to media. but no one told me that.

fortunately, it's still early enough for me to transfer out of that class and into a new one. unfortunately, that media class was the only class that had an attractive guy in it.

fortunately, my new class is at the exact same time as my old class. unfortunately, my new class is intro to advertising.

seriously. advertising.

what?

// listen to every word.

2010-08-31T23:24:00.003-04:00

today was my first day of school, the day i've been dreading since my summer classes ended on june 30.

(it wasn't that actually bad though. i love my major, which is communications, and all of my classes are com classes. so it works out nicely.)

last night, val and the girls came over to go swimming (thank goodness the summer weather came back. i'm not ready for it to leave yet.) and we got to hear all about their first day of school. they are seriously just too cute. i asked julie if she had any advice for me for my first day of school. first she told me that i was going to make a lot of new friends. and then she said, "listen to every word."

and so that's what i took with me as i went to each of my five classes today. it was quite a long day, so i'm not sure i caught every word, but i got a lot of them.

here's a summary of how my day went:

interpersonal communication | 9:25 a.m.: i'm taking this class with dr. miller, who was the same professor i had for intro to com last semester. last semester, she talked about her boyfriend. today, i noticed she had some bling on her left hand. boyfriend popped the question over the summer? i think so. (oh, and we also talked about interpersonal communication and watched a clip from the break up. i'm going to love this class.)
introduction to media | 10:50 a.m.: my professor for this class is also my advisor. the only thing i remember from this class is that the cute guy's name is adam. i think i stopped listening after that. (i'm going to love this class.)
research methods in communication | 2:05 p.m.: the only reason this class is going to be bearable is because dr. miller is teaching it. i hate research, but i like her.
communication theory | 3:30 p.m.: i am going to hate this class. it's going to be that class that i sit in for an hour and fifteen minutes and leave wondering what we just talked about. the girl in front of me agrees. and as if that's not bad enough, we're going to have to give multiple presentations in this class.
introduction to radio | 7:30 p.m.: i'm trying to be so pessimistic, but i don't think i'm going to like this class. i'm not a fan of my professor's teaching style. and that is what makes or breaks the class. also, we spent a good chunk of class time tonight learning the history of radio. ..SO boring.

the only class i haven't been to yet is world cinema, which doesn't start until september 13 because it's only on mondays and next monday is labor day. so yeah.

that was my first day of school. my first day of my last fall semester.

// for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic.

2010-08-30T14:03:00.002-04:00

classes start tomorrow. TOMORROW. how did that happen?

i just made a top 10 list of things i am not looking forward to this semester. and then i threw it away and made a top 10 list of things i am happy about this semester. i try not to be so negative about things all the time.

top 10 things i am happy about this semester:

i am getting a macbook.
and a new phone.
all of my classes are communications classes. (well, except for world cinema.)
I HAVE NO LABS.
i have wednesdays and fridays off.
my monday class is at night, so sunday's will be less stressful.
this is my last fall semester because I'M GRADUATING IN MAY.
my new back-to-school clothes.
MY BIRTHDAY.
my new, pink notebook. and you know i'll be taking notes in pink too.

// beach day number two.

2010-08-26T21:45:00.000-04:00

it's so exciting that i got two beach days this summer. usually i'm lucky if i get one.

(it's also exciting that i'm posting two times this week. lately, i've just not been in the mood to write for other people.)

anyway.

t was very nervous about going to the beach when we went last friday because there have been multiple shark sightings recently, and she had this dream where we were all at the beach and there was a shark and my mom still went in the water. or something like that. so before we left, she told my mom and i that she didn't think we should go in the water. my mom thought that was just ridiculous.

"i'm not driving all the way to the beach to not go in the water."

well, we all ended up going in the water. multiple times. t included. my mom had her convinced that it was okay, that sharks don't get that close to shore, that there are people who watch for fins.

and everything was okay. until around 3:15 p.m. when the lifeguards started blowing their whistles and made an announcement that everyone needed to get out of the water because there had been an "unidentified fin" spotted in the water.

needless to say, after spending a good five to ten minutes staring out into the water trying to see the fin, we decided that it was probably a good time to leave at that point.

we were packing up our stuff when they made another announcement that everyone needed to stay out of the water until 3:45 p.m. - thirty minutes after the fin had been seen. ..i'm not sure how that's a logical way of handling things. i mean, how do they really know the shark - or whatever animal the "unidentified fin" belonged to - would be gone by then?

..we didn't feel the need to stick around to find out.

// rip my strawberry chocolate.

2010-08-25T12:59:00.000-04:00

so josh and i have started this new thing where we go to t and lee's apartment once a week and have dinner and watch a movie with them. it's pretty exciting. we've only done it for a few weeks so far, but it's definitely the start of a new tradition.

anyway, last week during our dinnner /movie night, t was carrying a glass of water in the living room when it fell out of her hand and onto the floor, soaking my phone in the process.

it wasn't really a big deal at first. i dried it off and it still worked and everything. plus, it's not the first time this has happened to my phone. a whole cup of water has been poured on it, i've left it out in the rain, and i can't even tell you the number of times i've dropped it or accidentally thrown it across the room.

unfortunately, my strawberry chocolate wasn't strong enough this time.

fortunately, i only have to wait a month for my two-year upgrade.

in the mean time, i'm using one of my dad's old phones. which is from like, 2003 and less like a phone and more like a walkie talkie. antenna and all.

goodbye strawberry chocolate. /hello walkie talkie.

// happy birthday, dad!

2010-08-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

yesterday was my dad's birthday. sunday birthdays are pretty much the best thing ever, in my opinion, because you get the whole day to celebrate. no school, no work, just happy birthday goodness. not to mention that the day is all about you, and who doesn't love that?

anyway, we pretty much just hung out, ate some great food, and watched movies. my mom made a delicious chocolate cake from scratch (his mother's recipe) with vanilla frosting, also from scratch. oh my gosh, it was so good. and then we watched return to snowy river and the bourne supremacy.

for some reason, my dad is anti-camera, so he wouldn't allow for any birthday photo shoots. however, t and i don't pass up any photo opportunities. especially when our hair looks as good as it did.

sheismybestfriend.

// new hampshire.

2010-08-10T16:47:00.000-04:00

last thursday, after i got out of work, t and i headed up to new hampshire to see melissa, kyle, and the kids. our visit was short because they were leaving for vacation on saturday, but it was totally worth it. alexis and aiden are growing up too fast!

aiden is such a happy boy. i swear he never stops smiling. he definitely recognized the camera when i took it out too. he hasn't walked yet, but he's very close to it. i can't believe he's that old already!

alexis took a little bit to warm up to us. she started out clucking at us instead of talking, but it didn't last very long. i let her play with my cell phone, and she was set. i can only imagine how old she'll be when she starts asking for her own.

they are both just too cute with such contagious laughs! i wish i could've spent more time with them.

// caits. is. back!

2010-08-05T15:08:00.000-04:00

twelve days ago, caits went to guatemala on a mission's trip. so for the past twelve days, i've been missing her. and also sending her daily e-mails telling her this and other not as important details about my life. see, when we're in the same country, we e-mail often and text even more often. we're pretty much in constant contact.

so those twelve days? they were brutal.

last night, i went with her family to pick her up. i hadn't originally planned on going because she wouldn't be back until late, but when i realized that i wouldn't be able to see her until friday if i didn't go, i changed my mind.

i can't even tell you how great it is to have her back. to be able to hug her, talk to her, send her e-mails and text messages that she will actually reply to. i can't wait to hear all of her stories and how she felt about everything she experienced.

i got a little preview last night. it was hilarious. even though she was half-asleep and all disoriented, she did not stop talking. i loved it. she kept interrupting herself as she would remember other stories she wanted to tell, which would remind her of even more stories. i felt like i needed to take a breath for her.

i can't imagine what it's going to be like when we hang out and have time to talk about all of it!

// back-to-school.

2010-08-04T21:55:00.000-04:00

i went to target today to pick up some things i needed, and i suddenly remembered that i'm going back to school soon. and you know what that means? i get to buy school supplies!

it's probably the only thing i get excited for when it comes to going back to school. i love office supplies. staples is like target, in a way. i could go there and just walk around, looking at all the neat things that help keep you more organized, and be satisfied with leaving empty-handed.

my dad thinks this is strange. earlier, when i was telling my parents about how excited i was to have an excuse to go to staples, he said, "if you love it so much, why don't you just go there in your free time and walk around?"

he was joking, but my mom and i both know that a random trip to staples could brighten my day in an instant.

although, i didn't even look at the school supplies when i thought of it at target today. having them will only make it real that school is coming, with autumn following close behind, and i'm still in denial about the fact that my summer is almost gone.

// good news & bad news.

2010-08-03T17:22:00.002-04:00

i went to the dentist today for my two-week checkup on my jaw.

the good news: i'm fine and i can start chewing gum again. (in fact, i had my first piece in over two weeks earlier today.)

the bad news: my jaw stopped hurting almost as soon as i stopped chewing gum, so i'm probably going to have to give it up permanently, unless i want to be in pain. which i don't. but first i'm going to try limiting myself and see if that works.

in other news, it's august. august! can you believe it? i certainly can't. where did my summer go? (oh, that's right. i spent the first half of it sitting in a classroom.) but seriously, at the end of this month, i'll be right back there, in a classroom, counting down how many days i have to wait until it's summer again.

however, there is good news to go along with that bad news: it's my last school year.

isn't that weird? i almost don't want to talk about it because it's so unbelievable, but at the same time i do because i'm SO EXCITED.

// happy birthday, melanie!

2010-08-02T20:35:00.001-04:00

i woke up late today. so like, now my whole day is thrown off. don't you just hate that? i'm not exactly sure how i learned how to turn off my alarm - which is located across the room - in my sleep. but i have.

(i saw this post the other day, and i feel like it appropriately describes my life.)

anyway, last wednesday was melanie's birthday. she's ~~forty and~~ FABULOUS.

we had a birthday dinner for her at our house, and i made the lasagna. ..that's right. i made lasagna. and it was delicious.

// happy birthday, bil!

2010-07-28T23:28:00.002-04:00

i spent the entire day yesterday thinking it was wednesday. you can imagine how confused i was when i woke up and realized that today is wednesday. yesterday was tuesday. lee's birthday.

we had a birthday dinner for him at my house on monday night.

the most memorable moment of the night:

t discovering that josh and i could call lee "bill."

i don't know where it came from, but we were all confused when she said it. why would we call him bill? that's so random.

well, she thought it was the funniest thing that we didn't get what she meant, and she didn't tell us either. we had to figure it out.

it took me a good five minutes to realize that she meant bil. one l. brother in law.

we're geniuses.

// can you apologize, please?

2010-07-27T21:54:00.004-04:00

first of all, i would just like to mention that i saw inception on friday night. and it was absolutely fantastic. i loved it and i can't wait to watch it again.

anyway.

saturday was a beach day for my mom, t, and i.

top 10 things i want to note about our trip.

we stopped and got mini doughnuts on the way. it's tradition. although, we forgot the twizzlers.
unlike last time, we didn't sit near a lifeguard chair. or any attractive guys.
the water was freezing cold. i'd only get wet just enough so that when i sat back down in my chair, i could tan without feeling like my skin was melting.
my mom took it upon herself to help me wet my arms and back by splashing me, and she got my bangs wet. she thought it was pretty funny. i did not. i asked her to apologize.
a sea gull pooped on my mom. t and i thought this was just hilarious, and so did our new friends who were sitting next to us.
for most of the day, t and i would stand at the edge of the water, getting our feet wet every few minutes while my mom went further out to where the waves were crashing because she (unlike us) wasn't afraid of the rip tide.
t and i finally went out with her the last time. it was going well, despite how cold it was, and i managed to keep my hair dry for a few minutes. and then a wave came that was too big to jump. my mom thought this was particularly funny. "oh sarah, your hair got wet."
the lifeguards blew their whistles while we were wave-jumping and we noticed this woman who was further out than we were. she looked like she was trying to swim in, but she wasn't making any progress. the lifeguard and a couple other men swam out to help her, but she was rude to them, saying, "i'm fine!" even though she wasn't.
in the middle of all of this, huge waves came one right after another, crashing on our heads. my hair definitely got wet. and so did my sunglasses.
we stopped and got carvel ice cream on the way home. and i may or may not have burned every part of my body that wasn't covered by my bathing suit.

// rock, paper, scissors, what?

2010-07-22T17:04:00.000-04:00

last night, bailey was barking at the door because he had to go out, and josh and i decided that the best way to decide who should take him out was to play rock, paper, scissors.

i lost. i always lose. but while i was outside with bailey, i heard josh saying, "you don't know how to play? you've never played before?" and i came back inside to find out that my mom has never played rock, paper, scissors.

so josh explained the rules, also referencing the episode of that 70's show where fez thinks that rock beats everything. and then my mom and i played a few times. i thought maybe since she's never played before, i might win. i didn't. i lost every round.

my dad, who had been silently watching the whole time, said, "but wait, i thought that rock always wins?"

josh and i just looked at each other because he clearly missed the point, and i decided it might be fun to play him. if he thinks rock always wins, then i'll obviously win with paper.

and so i did. but he got the idea by the second round, and i lost again.

// happy birthday, aiden!

2010-07-21T18:15:00.000-04:00

it's been two days since i last chewed a piece of gum. to be honest, i almost gave in yesterday and ate a piece that i had laying on my desk at work. i could just take some advil if my jaw started hurting, right?

i know, i know. i ate the mints josh has on his desk instead.

anyway, last weekend was aiden's first birthday party. the trip up to new hampshire and back took four hours, so we technically spent more time in the car than we did at the party. but it was totally worth it. i don't get to see them enough.

so cute, right?

// an extra trip to the dentist.

2010-07-20T18:57:00.000-04:00

i went to the dentist yesterday because i've been experiencing a bit of pain in my jaw, and it was becoming somewhat of a problem because eating is probably one of my most favorite things, and it sort of hurt to chew. so i called the doctor and they told me to call my dentist. genius. why didn't i think of that?

he looked at my jaw and the x-ray's they had taken the last time i was there (which was about a month ago, lucky me), and he said a few things about how i have an overbite and such. and then he was explaining something about how my jaw pops a little bit when i open and close my mouth, and how jaws don't normally look like mine does. my jaw structure looks more like a model's, he said.

well, isn't that nice to hear? too bad my model-like jaw hurts so bad.

apparently, i have something called tmd and it's probably just temporary, so i should try a few things to help with the pain until it goes away. and then he asked me, "are you a gum chewer?"

me: "yes." (who isn't?)

him: "i would suggest not chewing gum for a while. things like that make it worse."

me: "..are you serious?"

he was. and he said it doesn't matter if it's sugarless or not, the chewing is what makes my jaw hurt even more. but, he added, it's not like i have to give it up forever. it's just for two weeks.

just two weeks? chewing gum is my next favorite thing, right after eating. i always buy my gum in bulk when i go to target, and i usually carry at least two packs in my purse at any one time so that i never run out at inconvenient times.

two weeks is going to feel like forever.

but at least my jaw looks like a model's, right?

// the books are always so much better than the movies. part two.

2010-07-19T17:24:00.000-04:00

when twilight and new moon (the movies) came out, i didn't let myself read the series right before i saw them because i didn't want to walk into the theater with a fresh memory of what happened. that would only make my extra critical. but after i saw new moon, i was ready to reread them, for two reasons. one, they're good books and i wanted to reread my favorite parts. (especially the ones that had been left out of the movies.) and two, i wanted to remind myself that bella is really in love with edward, and only edward, despite how they make it seem in the movies.

i was actually surprised to reread new moon and see how accurate the movie was. eclipse, on the other hand, like twilight, was a different story. i almost wonder if the creators of the movies are team jacob, because it's like they downplay bella's relationship with edward and exaggerate her relationship with jacob.

anyway, after seeing eclipse last week, i felt like i wanted to reread them again. this time, it was only because i felt like the movie was far more inaccurate. but i picked up where the movie left off, and where i had left off the last time i reread the series, and started rereading breaking dawn. i'm really curious to see how they're going to make that book into a movie. or two movies, i should say.

although, breaking dawn is my least favorite book, so it doesn't really matter to me whether or not the movie's as good as the book. but we'll see how it is.

..aaand that's the last post i'm going to write about twilight. for a while, at least.

// the books are always so much better than the movies.

2010-07-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

remember flairs on facebook? remember how 87% of them said things like "dear jacob, i won. love, edward" or "i want to la PUSH jacob black off a cliff" ? and every once in a while you'd come across a jacob fan flair, but for the most part, it was edward and bella forever.

well, it got the the point where i decided i wanted to know who this great edward guy was, and why he was so much better than jacob. so i googled, and discovered twilight. the book about a girl and a vampire who fall in love.

it was a little bit too sci-fi for me, but i was curious enough, so i read it. a few weeks later, i had read all four books and loved them.

yesterday, i saw eclipse. the third twilight movie.

it wasn't that bad. i mean, i know that a 629 page book doesn't translate well into a 2 hour movie and that changes are going to be needed, but i wasn't really impressed with it. i felt like i kept thinking, but that's not how it happens. in my opinion, there isn't a love triangle and that's what the movie was all about.

it makes me want to read the books again so i can remember how good the story actually is.

// good times.

2010-07-13T11:29:00.025-04:00

so last week, i was at camp until thursday. i LOVE camp. when i was little, i went every year as a camper and when i got too old for that, i went as a counselor-in-training. it was always kid's camp too. i never wanted to go to youth camp. two weeks in a row seemed like a bit much and i (clearly) just prefer kid's camp.

it was a TON of fun this year, as it is every year.

basically, the week consisted of: being sweaty all the time because it was so super hot out, staying up way too late playing mafia (and WINNING that one time!), waking up early, wishing i was a western, and giving out random points to team who did the hokey pokey.

i should also mention the part about how it's a church camp, so church services were a big part of the week - for the kids. unfortunately, as a part of the support staff, i didn't get to spend much time in the services, but i know God was doing some amazing things. He's still the same as He was when i was a camper.

the week was cut short for josh and i though because amy and ryan got married on thursday. we hated to leave early, but it was totally worth it. it was SUCH a fun night. i don't think i've ever danced so much in my life. i even did the cotton-eyed joe, which i haven't done since about the seventh grade.

once again, i forgot my camera, so here's one from facebook.

beautiful, right?

// la furia roja.

2010-07-12T23:45:00.006-04:00

my friend caits likes soccer. she introduced me to cristiano ronaldo a while back, and i'm sure she must have mentioned something else about the sport as well, but the only thing i took away from it was soccer has attractive players.

i'm not really into sports much. or at all. but i am a big fan of eye candy. just saying.

when she started talking about how the world cup was coming up, i thought it might be fun to actually watch a couple games. sort of like how i decide that watching football might be fun right before the super bowl comes on.

so, i needed a team, and i thought about picking portugal because the only player i knew of was cristiano. but then i decided that picking a team because of one attractive player would be so lame. so i copied caits and picked spain.

fortunately, the majority of the spain players are attractive as well. plus spain has nando. now that's what i'm talking about.

but that's not the point. the point is: I LOVE SOCCER. it is clearly the better football. seriously. i never thought i could like a sport so much.

and i clearly made the right choice by picking spain. because they are amazing and world champions.